Miserable at Best
by baysidebird88
Summary: The Cullens can't stay away from Forks so they convince Edward the best way to protect Bella is to come back. When they come back, they find out Bella has a wildside. Slight OOC and strong language.
1. Welcome Home

**A/N: **I was listening to Mayday Parade's _Miserable at Best, _when I got the idea to write a story. It's kinda going to go through out the story so I'm sure I'll keep referencing back to it. It's one of my favorite songs and it's a high-quality song you should check it out.

**Edward POV**

The cafeteria was buzzing when I sat down at the table. A million thoughts hitting me at once.

_Why is Cullen back? _Newton.

_Oh no, Bella is going to be so upset. _Angela.

_Oh look who's back. Now that Bella's doing that kid from La Push, maybe he'll date me! _Jessica.

_God look at Jessica drooling over Cullen, she has no chance. She's so pathetic. _Lauren.

I wanted to make a run for it, why did I ever let Carlisle talk me into coming back.

"_Edward, Victoria is still out there looking for Bella, the only way to protect her is to go back. I don't think Charlie would hesitant to give you a restraining order if he sees you outside their house every night." _Carlisle told me on the drive back to Forks. He was right, but still I would prefer stalking her without her knowledge, then interfering with her life even more.

I can't do this. I couldn't just sit here while every single person in the school felt the need to remind me that I made a **huge** mistake. I didn't want Bella to make a scene when she saw that we were back. I didn't know if she would scream at me, or cry, both made me cringe.

_Don't worry Edward, I don't see anything bad happening when Bella walks in_. Alice.

I've been hearing the same things all day. Every single person in the school despised me, for what I did to Bella.

Unknowingly half of them have been torturing me by throwing pictures of Bella while I was gone. She's looked so thin, fragile, sick.

The other half was thinking about a very drunk Bella at various parties. Jacob Black on her arm. I wasn't sure which one disturbed me more. I sighed and stiffened when I smelled Bella entering the cafeteria talking to Tyler.

"Bella, my parents are out of town and I'm throwing another party. You in girl? Bring that boy of your's too. We kicked Mike and Erik's ass's last time at beer pong." Tyler said nudging Bella's shoulders.

"Tyler I don't know. Charlie was pretty pissed last week when I didn't come home and when he found out that I crashed with Jake, he was even more made. I mean he's a cop and all, he does worry."

"Aw come on Hells Bells, it's gonna be fun. Remember how much fun you had last time?"

Suddenly imagines filled Tyler's mind. Bella drinking, smoking, dancing in a provocative way. She was doing things that I would never imagine _my_ Bella to do. I closed my eyes willing the images away.

What has happened to her. Has she really changed that much since I've been gone? I won't believe it.

When I opened my golden eyes back up, I was staring into the most stunning chocolate brown ones.

"Well, well look who's back from his distractions, Edward Cullen." She said sitting next to Alice at our old lunch table.

You could cut the tension with a knife it was so thick. Angela kept clearing her throat and Alice kept rambling on about life in L.A. I'm pretty sure she's never been to LA in her life. Maybe a shopping trip at night, but that's basically it. She must of did her research before we came back.

"…..Esme decided that she didn't like the big city, so she finally put her foot down and told Carlisle that if we didn't move back, that she was coming back without him! Of course I took her side and so did Jasper and Edward. So Carlisle caved in and we moved back. I know that he missed working in the hospital and he missed the forest and the people. I mean who wouldn't!" God how could she be so cheery, it irritated me to no end.

"Did you like L.A. too Edward?" Angela asked trying to bring me into the conversation.

"No, like Esme I missed Forks very much. I almost came back on my own, but I didn't want to upset my parents, so I toughed it out. I'm satisfied to be back." I looked over to Bella to make sure she understood that I meant I missed her, that I wanted to come back to her.

She was glancing out the windows, her mind on other things. Oh I wish I could hear her thoughts. What was she thinking about? Was it this Jacob kid everyone keeps picturing in their minds.

_Edward why don't you try talking to her? _Alice asked in her thoughts.

I looked up the right corner of the cafeteria then the left. A human wouldn't of noticed but Alice noticed that I was shaking my head no.

Bella sighed and looked over at Alice. "Alice I'm so happy to have you back. I want to go shopping tonight and get an outfit for this weekend. Angela want to come?"

Alice was bouncing up and down so much, I thought the floor was going to cave in. Angela nodded her head yes, which made Alice bounce even more.

Alice didn't need to ask because she already knew the answer but she asked her mind anyways. _Mind if I asked what the dress is for, maybe I can get more info out of her since I know you wont be invited to the party?_

One again I looked to the right then the left. Yes I did mind, but I wouldn't let Alice know.

"What's this weekend Bella? Oh shopping we're going to have so much fun!" Bounce up, bounce down, repeat very fast and about a hundred more times a minute.

Bella tried smiling and said, "A party at Tyler's. I think he's going to ask if you want to come too Alice. It's Friday and I want something special." Special? Special for who? Jacob? I growled. I actually growled but only Bella and Alice caught it.

"I'm going to head to class a little early guys. I wanted to ask a question about the math homework from last night. I'll see you guys later. Alice call me when you get home ok? Or just come over I'm sure Charlie will be happy to see you." Without even a glance at me, she picked up her tray of untouched food and headed for the exit.

Without even realizing what I was doing I shot up and jogged over to her.

"Bella, I want to talk to you." I said grabbing onto her elbow. Until she shook it off and walked out to the hall way

"What do you want? Did your distractions grow boring too? It seems that nothing can keep your attention these days." She said bitterly.

"I want you to know that I couldn't stay away from you, I had to come back. I don't want to disturb your life Isabella, but I can't stay away from you. I want to find Victoria and keep you safe." I said dragging my cold fingers along her jaw line. She just jerked her head away.

"Leave me alone Edward. I'm serious too. I want nothing to do with you. You hurt me once, I'm not going to let you do it again." And she ran down the hall into the Woman's bathroom.

No matter how hard I tried, I don't think I could ever leave her alone. I love her too much. The bell signaled me to get to class.

_And I got the point that I should leave you alone_

_But we both know that I'm not that strong_

_And I miss the lips that made me fly_

_-miserable at best._

**A/N: what do you guys think? If it sucks let me know, I wont continue. Please review though. Pretty, pretty please with Edward Cullen on top. Oh if you guess what song this chapter was named after you get a special cookie or something i haven't figured out what yet.**


	2. The boy who blocked his own shot

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight I just like to shake Forks up.

**Edward POV**

"_Leave me alone Edward. I'm serious too. I want nothing to do with you. You hurt me once, I'm not going to let you do it again."_

I was taken back. I didn't really know what to expect when I came back, either Bella was going to take me back or she was going to hate me, but I always thought she'd take me back.

She actually ran away from me. I gave out a humorless laugh, since day one all I've always wanted her to run away screaming and now she actually was.

Bella wasn't going to get to far though, when we started this school year we conveniently had all of our classes together, aside from gym. I was too selfish to get my schedule switched, so Bella was stuck sitting next to me until we killed Victoria, then I could go back to living my miserable life somewhere else.

Walking into the class I noticed that Bella wasn't there, and everyone was staring at me. I walked over to the teacher, got my slip signed and sat back down at my normal seat.

I felt a finger tap me on the shoulder and turned around to see Ben leaning over in his seat. _I should tell him, come on Ben you're a man, just tell him_, he kept thinking in his mind.

"Hello Ben. Sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you at lunch but I was rather distracted." I was trying to be polite.

"Welcome back Edward. I well, er Angela thought I should tell you that….um well Bella…" _COME ON MAN SPIT IT OUT!_

"…Well Bella is kinda of seeing that kid from down at La Push. The one that crashed our prom last year. I mean…I've been seeing them around a lot together…."

I wanted to tell him to not worry, I've been seeing them together in everyone's minds. I knew I lost Bella forever, she basically told me that she hated me.

"Its fine Ben, thanks for the concern but I'm not back to uproot Bella's life. I'm just here to get finish high school then leave for college."

I smelt Bella entering the classroom so I turned around. She looked thinner then I remember, like she lost at least fifteen pounds. Her skin was paler then usually and dark circles under her eyes stood out more. She had one arm around her books and the other one wrapped around her chest, as if she was holding herself together.

"Sorry I'm late Mr. Sanchez, I had a question about number twenty three on the homework for last night I was hoping that we could go over it in class?" He nodded his head yes and she turned around and kept her eyes focused on the floor. I noticed they were ran and puffy, she most of been crying.

Once class got under way I scooted closer to her.

"Bella I want to talk to you, please." I didn't want to beg, but if it was what it would take I would get down on my knees and beg for the next fifteen years.

"Edward I really don't have anything to say to you. Just leave me alone please." She kept her eyes focused on the chalk board.

"Bella please, five minutes after class, I need to talk to you. I have something to tell you. I can give you a ride home, I didn't notice your truck outside. Or you can come over. _Please_ Bella." I was pathetic, I was selfish, if I wasn't me I'd kick my ass for being like this.

"I got a ride today, not that its any of your business. I don't know what you want from me Edward, but I don't think it's a good idea for us to be talking. I've changed a lot and I'm not your fragile little Bella anymore. I know you've been seeing it in people's minds and I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

_Yeah I know you're not my same Bella, my Bella wouldn't be out at parties getting blazed. _

"Bella I'm not going to lecture you. I've been blocking everyone's thoughts for most of the day, there's only some many times I can listen to the human race saying how much they hate me. I have other things to attend to, then I can leave Forks for good."

She turned her head towards me and I noticed her face dropped. Was she upset at the idea of me leaving? Surely not, she was probably upset at the fact that I was blocking thoughts and not listening to the hate. I lifted my hand and ran my fingers along her check bones. She didn't jerk her head away, that was a good sign right?

"Don't touch me Edward. I wont let you hurt me again…." she scrambled up her books and ran out of the room.

Everyone turned to look at me. I grabbed my books and ran after her. I bumped into Alice instead.

"Alice where did she go?" I asked rather nervous.

"She's in the bathroom Edward. I'll go check on her. Maybe you should try listening to her every once in awhile big brother. Don't be looking in my mind either. Go sit out in your car and listen to some music. Relax, you're too tense." She started twirling down the hall singing "Womanizer" in her mind.

"…Oh Eddie I wont need a ride home either." She said smiling.

Great what was she hiding from me now.

-:- the song that inspired this chapter was…. -:-

_If it makes you less sad _

_I will die by your hand_

_I hope you find out what you want_

_I already know what I am_

_And if it makes you less sad_

_We'll start talking again_

_And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am_

_I'll grow old and start acting my age_

_I'll be a brand new day In a life that you hate_

_A crown of gold_

_A heart that's harder than stone_

_And it hurts a whole lot_

_But it's missed when it's gone_

_If it makes you less sadI'll move out of the state_

_You can keep to yourself_

_I'll keep out of your way_

_And if it makes you less sad_

_I'll take your pictures all down_

_Every picture you paint I will paint myself out_

_It's as cold as a tombaAnd it's dark in your room_

_When I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds_

_So call it quits or get a grip_

_Say you wanted a solution_

_You just wanted to be missed_

_Call me a safe bet I'm betting I'm not_

_I'm glad that you can forgive_

_I'm only hoping as time goesYou can forget_

_So you can forget you can forge_

_tYou are calm and reposed_

_Let your beauty unfold_

_Pale white like the skin Stretched over your bones_

_Spring keeps you ever close_

_You are second hand smoke_

_You are so fragile and thinStanding trial for your sins_

_Holding onto yourself the best you can_

_You are the smell before the rain_

_You are the blood in my veins_

_Call me a safe bet __I'm betting I'm not_

_ I'm glad that you can forgiveI_

_'m only hoping as time goes y__ou can forget_

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that showed an interest in this story! Sorry that the story is progressing kind of slowly, I know how the story is going to work out, so please bare with me! Reviews are always welcomed. Lets see if anyone can figure out who sings the song that inspired this chapter, whoever guess gets a shout out in the next chapter!**


	3. She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters i just love shaking up Forks. **

**Bella POV**

After running out of math, I ran into the closest girl's room. I checked to make sure no one else was in there, picked the stall furthest away from the door, put the lid down and pulled my knees up to my chin.

I didn't want to cry over Edward, crying just made the hole in my heart rip apart and grow. I was with Jake now, it wasn't fair of me to cry over him. Yet here I sat for the second time in the last hour, crying over him.

"Bella? Bella honey I know you're in here. Don't worry its just me. I just want to talk." Alice came over tapped on my stall door. I didn't answer, I just pulled my knees in tighter, the gappy hole growing, growing, growing!

"Come on Bella, I know you're in there." I saw that she was standing on her tippy toes, then saw her tiny little hands grab the top of the stall and then followed her little pixie head.

"Alice I'm really not in the mood to talk right now. Specially since you're brother is probably listening." Ta Edward was probably right outside the door listening. I swiped the tears of my cheeks.

"Oh Bella, do you really think I'd do that to you? I told him to wait out in the car and turn the music up and just relax and NOT listen to us. He gave me his word."

As Alice jumped down from the stall, I stood up and unlocked the door. I walked over to the sink and splashed some cold water on my face, trying to calm down.

"Ok spill, I want to know what's going on with you and the wolf? And I want to know what's going on with my brother."

I dove into the story, telling her about how Jake was there for me, about how he changed into a wolf and how I connected with Emily (reassured her that Emily could never replace her). I told her about how I liked to party, but lied and told her that the drinking was mild. I didn't mention the smoking or the time I tried pot, the last thing I wanted was a lecture. It felt good getting things off my chest though.

"My dim-witted brother. I told him that this was going to happen. He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy." (New Moon quote)

I couldn't help but let a humorless laugh escape.

"So what are you going to do now? I mean, we're back, Edward's back…." I didn't know what I was going to do. I owed it Jake to stay with him, but Edward will always be my love, too bad he didn't feel the same.

"Well listen, I'm leaving now so I can go hunting with Jazzy before we go out tonight. Eddie Poo said that he offered you a ride home…maybe you could go with him? Talk a little. Tell him off?" she said, laughing like a jingle bell. I knew I shouldn't argue, she already saw it happening. I wanted it to happen. I had to play it cool though.

"Ok? I don't know. I mean Jake usually picks me up and takes me down to La Push so I can work on homework."

"Well not today, you are going to call him in two and a half minutes, you are going to go to gym, don't, I repeat don't play with Jess today, she's going to throw the volley ball at your head, then you will walk out to Edward's car and talk. Trust me Bella, everything will be fine. I'll see you tonight! Oh!…and don't tell Charlie I want to surprise him!"

She clapped her hands, kissed me on the cheeks and gracefully twirled out of the bathroom, leaving me alone.

I dialed Jake, knowing he was probably home sleeping. Billy picked up and I could hear him wheeling his way down the hall. He called for Jake, and I heard his too small bed squeak as he got up.

"Hey baby, what's wrong? Shouldn't you be in class?" he yawned, so I must of woken him up.

"I'm ok…. Angela is going to give me a ride home. We're going shopping for a new outfit for Friday. You're still coming over to though for patrol?" I don't know why I even asked anymore, I knew what the answer was going to be. Of course he was going to come over and protect me, he was a good boyfriend, he wouldn't ever leave me.

"Of course sweetie. I'll -yawn- be outside until Charlie's head hit's the pillow, then I'll be up." It was time for the wolf to go back to sleep, and time for me to get to gym. We said our goodbyes and I was off to gym, avoiding Jess at all cost.

-:- -:- -:-

**EPOV**

I was listening to some music when I heard a _tap, tap, tap _on my window. Standing right outside my window was the face of an angel. I probably looked like an idiot because all I did was look out the window and stare at her. _Roll down the window you freakin weirdo_.

"Hey can I still get that ride?" she asked me. She took a step back as I opened my car door, walked around the other side and held her door open. She sent me a death stare as she muttered, _you don't have to do that, I'm not your girlfriend anymore. _

Oh how my heartache to know that I royal screwed up and now she belong to someone else. I shut her door, turned around and slide into my car. I noticed everyone was staring at us and having the ugliest thoughts I've ever heard.

_It's ok Edward, I'll be running along side the car, and I'll be outside the house if you need me. She'll invite you in so don't worry. Then I'm off, so Jazzy and I can go hunt, if you want us to wait just let me know. _Alice, I owed her so much. So this was what she was trying to hide. I could practically hear her smile through her thoughts.

Awkward silence took up most of the ride back to Charlie's. I kept clearing my throat, trying to make the words come out. She just kept sighing. Part of me wanted to tell her that I wasn't good enough for her, I was a monster, I would leave her hurting every night. The other half wanted me to beg her to take me back.

"What do you want to talk about Edward, I can't be doing this everyday…Jake doesn't even know you guys are back and I don't want to be lying to him." She didn't even look at me, she just kept staring out the window. I was actually going the speed limit, I didn't want to lose a second with her.

"I actually want to talk about him….-clear throat- I want to talk about Jake. Do you think that we could have a meeting with the pack. Carlisle and I want to reinstate the boundaries. We will do as much as possible to help bring Victoria down." In a lower tone I added, "So I can freaking leave again."

That caught her attention, her head turned towards me and I could hear her heartbeat increasing. Was she upset that I was leaving?…or was she assuming we'd all leave. We were outside of Charlie's now.

I opened my door, walked to the other side and grabbed the handle as she swung the door open. I got the death stare again and wish that I could tell her I did it out of force of habit. More awkward silence.

"So…mind if I come in, I mean if its ok? I would like to talk to you a little bit more." She didn't say anything, just turned her back to me and started walking towards the door. I didn't know if I should follow her or not until she said…

"Are you coming? You're getting wet, you can come in and dry off a little."

It was like the Heavens were opening up and finally looking upon me. I blindly followed behind her, the rain kept hitting my eye lids and weighing them down.

The house was the same. Nothing was changed, everything left untouched, it was as if I never left. I uncomfortably stood in the kitchen, while Bella went to the hall way closet and came back with two fluffy blue towels. She handed me the two towels and turned her back to me, starting on dinner.

I dried my disorganized hair and kind of shook off like a wet dog while patting down my clothes. I kept hearing the fridge and cabinets open and close and knives cutting raw meat and vegetables.

"So what have you been doing since you've left for 'LA'"? she asked awkwardly. This whole situation was just a big ball of awkwardness.

"I tracked Victoria down south and then back up towards Canada, until we found out she was here." I heard the knife falling through the air, and reached out to grab it before it hit the linoleum. Luckily I grabbed the handle and not the blade, not that anything would come out.

She muttered a thanks and went back to cutting.

"So…you and Jake huh?" What I was curious.

"Yeah me and Jake…..I mean we like to hang out and stuff. Tyler and the boys really like to hang out with him so we kinda just hang out…so yeah I guess me and Jake." She said shrugging her shoulders.

"Leave it to you, Bella. Anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town. But you have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find." (New Moon Quote) I said with a humorless laugh. That seem to strike a cord. The first real reaction I could get from her, she swung around and held the knife so it was pointing right at my heart.

"Jacob Black is NOT a monster Edward Cullen! YOU ARE! YOU were the one that left ME! YOU were the one that I loved and YOU were the one that hurt ME beyond repair. YOU made ME this way!" she screamed and started crying.

At my human pace, I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her tiny body. She was so much smaller then I remembered. I felt her bones sticking out of her pale skin. I heard the knife hit the floor with a clink, clink. I was rather shocked that she let me hold her as she cried. She must of finally understood who was actually holding her. _Me_, the true monster, the one that hurt her, the one that 'made her the way she was'.

I felt her stiffen, stumble over her own feet then heard her the small of her back hit the counter with a small thump.

"Don't ever touch me again Edward Cullen. I wanted -cleared her throat- I wanted to try that whole "friends" thing, but I can't do it. I thought I was strong enough to, but I can't have you hurting me anymore. You are an animal and…I can't be apart of all of it again."

The words stung, but I wouldn't give up that easily. I walked over to her and brushed her jaw line with the back of my fingers.

"I'm such an animal, and baby honestly these teeth wont let you go." (song quote) I said and walked out into the rain again. I was hurting so much, and I would **never** let her go.

Alice was sliding into the seat before I could even shut my door.

_Well that's not really what I saw in my vision, it was suppose to go more smoothly, she was going to suggest the whole 'just friends' thing. Now I can't really see what's going to happen tonight. _Alice thought in her mind.

"I didn't want it to go like that. I need to hunt and so do you if you're going be with her and Angela." I said as I stepped on the gas.

-:- -:- -: - -:-

Song that inspired was:

**"She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty"**

_If you call me at all_

_Don't tell me that I'm ordinary Cause I won't be passing you, please don't leave _

_And if you tell me you're listening to everything you read _

_Turn off this light, call my name Don't talk, just ride _

_Who wouldn't let you be all about, About me I'm only trying to work this out _

_So, if you call me at all Don't tell me that I'm ordinary Cause I won't be passing you, please don't if you tell me you're listening to everything you read _

_If you call me at all _

_Oh, I hear you breathing on the line Oh baby girl, I'm not your type_

_I'll leave you hurting every night So I won't be coming back _

_Who wouldn't let me be all alone Who wouldn't let me be all alone _

_Who wouldn't let you scream ohh to a soft pillow_

_I'm such an animal and baby honestly these teeth won't let you go _

_Don't tell me that I'm ordinary Cause I won't be passing you, please don't leave _

_And if you tell me you're listening to everything you read _

_If you call me at all Don't tell me that I'm I won't be passing you, please don't leave_

_And if you tell me you're listening to everything you read If you call me at all_

**A/N: Hey! Sorry its been awhile, I was super busy which I'm sure all of you were too! I hope every had a good safe holiday and got everything you wanted. Robert Pattinson wasn't under my tree wearing just a bow so not everything on my wish list was there. Haha. Please review, review, review and I will update as soon as possible!**


	4. My friends over you

**Bella POV**

I was still crying when I heard Charlie's cruiser pull into the drive way. I pulled the chicken casserole out of the oven as I heard Charlie open the door, his boots hit the floor and his feet making the hall way squeak.

"Smells good Bells. Jake going to be joining us tonight?" He asked while sitting down.

"No, actually someone else is coming over. This has to sit for five minutes, so why don't you change and this _special person _will be here by the time you get down here." I'm sure that Alice was sitting outside my house just waiting for her chance to bust in.

I heard him drag his feet upstairs and when I turned around I saw that Alice has taken his place.

"Bella, maybe that smells good to Charlie, but to me it smells like rancid chicken. Ew."

I put the hot pads down, and ran over to Alice and crawled into her lap. I wanted to cry to her and tell her how much I was hurting but the words wouldn't form. I couldn't let her know how much I missed her brother, how much I still loved him, it just wasn't fair to Jake.

"Oh Bella what am are we going to do with you?" She kissed the top of my head and rubbed her hands up and down my back. She was trying to sooth me.

I didn't have time to reply before I heard Charlie's feet on the steps. I ran to the bottom and held up my hands to stop him.

"Hold on dad, it's a surprise! Close your eyes." I put my hands over his eyes and lead him down the hall.

"One, two, three!" and I lifted my hands. I saw a huge smile break out along his face and he put his arms up, waiting for a hug. Charlie was not one for emotions, but Alice was like another daughter to him. A daughter that was lost and now found, back in his arms.

"Oh Charlie! I'm so happy to see you! I've missed you so much! I'm so happy to be back!"

"Alice Cullen. I have not seen you in so long! How are you? Are you here to visit….did you come alone?" We both knew that the real question was did Edward come back.

"Oh Charlie no we moved back! Esme hated LA and Carlisle missed the small town hospital, so we're all back! Well except Emmett and Rose, they're across country at school still. But oh well." she said waving her hands.

The small talk continued to the table and over dinner. Charlie wanted to hear all about the big city life and where she applied to college and how the family was doing. After dinner was over, I cleared the table, put the leftovers away and told Charlie that we were going to see a movie with Angela.

-:- -:- -:-

Alice drove Angela and I to Port Angeles, while only the radio was playing in the background. I knew that both of them were itching to ask me about Edward and what I was going to do now with Jake, but neither of them had the guts to.

Finally Alice broke the silence.

"So Alice, is Edward going to be at the party tomorrow?" Angela asked.

"I don't think so, Emmett is coming home and Jazzy said something about male bonding. I try not to get involved when it comes to video games and drinking beer." Ok we both knew the last part was a lie. Vampires don't drink…well except blood.

"How bout Jake, Bella? Is he coming?" Angela asked bringing me into the conversation.

Sometimes I wish that I could just have a normal girly conversation, or that I could just tell Angela about Jake and the Cullens. I could never pull her into this world though, it was too dangerous for humans.

"Nah I don't think so. He wanted to, but he promised his friends that he'd do something with them."

"So, are you going to ask anyone else to go with you? I mean I know you won't cheat on Jake, but I thought you'd try the whole friend thing with Edward?….." Luckily we were at the dress shop and I got to put that conversation on hold.

Three hours and over a hundred dresses later, Angela, Alice and I walked out of the store each carrying two bags. One with a dress in it and one with a pair of shoes. I tried replaying the whole trip in my mind, so I would start thinking about _him_.

We were all getting annoying because we couldn't find anything. Prom season was only months away so the only thing left was either to long, too short or just too flashy. We were just about to give up when we found this cute little dress with a sale on cocktail dresses.

We all grabbed a hand full of dresses and marched into the dressing rooms. We all took turns trying on dresses while the other two sat down in big stuffed chairs. We would score each other, clap and applaud and boo if we hated it.

Angela went first. She tried on three black dresses, and a very short pink strapless number. Then she came out wearing a blue strapless dress that went right below her knees and was decorated with a gold bow and circles. (picture on profile!) It was perfect, but it took us fifteen minutes to talk her into getting it. Concerned that it might be a little too revealing, she also bought a blue sweater to go over it and blue flats to go on her feet.

Alice was next. Always the flashy one, she tried on a couple long prom dresses and some short black cocktail dresses. She finally decided on a yellow and black sequence dress. (profile!) It surprisingly had straps and barely brushed her thighs. To gather some height to her little pixie body she got black stiletto heels, that gave her six more inches.

After shuffling through racks and racks of cocktail dresses, it was my turn to go into the dressing room. I found a couple casual black cocktail dresses, and Alice and Angela picked out some overly flashy ones. I had my mind set on just going in sweats and a flannel button down when Alice pushed another dress into the dressing room.

The dress was red with white poke a dots. It had a poke a dot flower that gathered at the waist. It was strapless, and the mesh underneath made it come right above my knees.

It fit perfectly, so I decided to do a cat walk, walk down to the three way mirror and twirl in the thing. It was a little too sexy for a house party, but I figured I'd fit in with every other girl in Forks. Alice and Angela appeared behind and kept telling me this was the one! Alice had picked out some bright red three inch heels for me, and I knew they would be the death of me.

It was a beautiful dress, but I was worried about the attention I would be getting from it. The boys in Forks haven't been hiding their feelings for me and I'm afraid the might get the wrong idea when I show up without Jake. But on the other hand, I was really hoping that Edward would crash the party and realized what he was missing. What would _never _be his again. That thought alone was enough inspiration to buy the damn dress.

"Everyone can meet at my house tomorrow, so Rose and I can do hair and make up!" Alice squealed pulling me out of my thoughts. I heard Angela agree, so I just nodded my head. Great maybe Edward would get to see me in the dress. Plus I would get to see the rest of the Cullens again!

There was complete silence on the way home, just the background noise of the radio and the trees passing us by. Before I knew it, we were in front of Charlie's.

"How about you girls keep your dresses with me. Bella I know Charlie would freak if he saw it. I'll keep them nice and safe!"

"Thanks Alice, he would freak out. I'll see you guys tomorrow ok? Night Alice. Night Angela."

I hurried into the house and noticed that Charlie was passed out on the couch with the TV still on. I helped him up and into bed then turned towards my bed.

I called Jake and told him that I hung out with Angela all night and did some homework. I didn't want to say anything about Alice, because I didn't want the pack to know that the Cullens were back just yet.

Soon sleep consumed me and all my dreams were filled with Edward Cullen.

**Song that inspired this chapter was:**

_You were everything I wanted_

_But I just can't finish what I've started_

_There's no room left here on my back_

_It was damaged long ago_

_Though you swear that you are true_

_I still pick my friends over you_

**A/N: Hey guys, this chapter was kind of a filler. I'm having some personal problems, my gram went into the hospital two days ago and it isn't looking good, so I don't know when I'll be able to write again. So please bare with me. So anyways, sorry about the downer, the next chapter will be the party and I can't wait for everyone to see the drunk, silly Bella. So please review and check out the pictures/ play list on my profile! **


	5. Honey this mirror isn't big enough PARTI

**Honey this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us Part I**

**Bella POV**

I was finishing up Charlie's dinner when I heard him pull into the drive way. It was always the same routine with him. Park the cruiser, slams door, boots hit the floor, hangs up jacket and guns and shuffles into the kitchen. Following….

"Smells good Bella. Jake joining us tonight?" He asked while sitting down at the table.

I rolled my eyes. "Not tonight dad. Alice is having a sleep over weekend so Angela is actually going to be picking me up any minute now. Don't worry dinner is almost ready, and I put so lunch meat on the top shelf for your lunch tomorrow. I figured you'd be down at La Push for football on Sunday."

"Bells. I'm sure I'll survive the weekend without you. So…staying at the Cullens? Is Edward going to be there? How does Jake feel about you sleeping under the same roof?"

I had to roll my eyes again. "Dad, I don't know or care if Edward is going to be there. Alice said that Emmett was in town so I'm sure they'll be doing guy stuff. And I didn't tell Jake I was going over there, its none of his business. He doesn't like the Cullens anyways, no one down on the reservation does, remember? So don't mention it ok, I don't want to fight over something stupid."

I felt one of Charlie's famous lectures coming on, but then a knock on the door interrupted it.

"Coming! Dad it's Angela. I have to go. Just don't mention it to Jake I'll deal with it later. I promise. I love you, I'll have my cell on me."

I ran up to my room to grab my over night bag and ran down the stairs falling on the last one.

"Bella stay out of trouble! I'm a cop and a dad I know everything!" Oh if _only _he knew.

Angela and I didn't say much on the way to Alice's, but that's what I liked about her, there was never any awkward silence. The drive way was the same and it reminded me of Edward. When we pulled up to the porch it was just how I remembered. I could just picture Edward coming out to meet me on the porch. My heart ached, I can't be thinking about him, I had to remind myself.

When the door opened I was expecting to see Alice, but instead a big, giant Emmett greeted me. He came darting down the stairs and pulling me into a bear hug.

"…Can't….breath…Emmett." I managed to get out, my cheeks turning bright red. His booming laugh echoing in my ears.

"Bella, you haven't changed one bit! You're still a tiny little squirt! Oh my God, you still turn bright red! I love it!" His booming laugh went off again.

He twirled me around once more then put me back down. He then ran over to Angela and picked her up in a bear hug. "Hey little Angie I haven't seen you since I was in high school. How are you doing?" Angela barely got an "okay" out .

"Emmett put her down she can't breath!" I heard someone say behind me. I pivoted back towards the porch to see Esme, Carlisle and Rose standing on the porch. I could of cried right there. I ran up to the porch and grabbed Esme around the waist. I forgot how wonderful they all smelled.

"Oh my God Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie! How is everyone? I've missed you so much" I said as I took turns hugging all of them, even Rosalie. I felt tears creeping into the corner of my eyes and I quickly swiped them away.

"Where's Jasper, I want, no I _need _to talk to him. It's very important." It was more then a whisper to Carlisle, but I knew that Jasper would hear it.

"Right here Bella." I heard a calm voice say behind Carlisle. I craned my neck to see further in the door. Jasper and Alice were standing in the living room. It was just like I remembered. No Edward though. Every one of the Cullens was now outside except him.

Alice was already wearing her dress with black leggings underneath. Her hair was in its normal pixie cut with the spiky mess in the back. Her bangs were held back with bobby pins that had golden stars on them. She had black eye shadow on and big full eye lashes. She looked beautiful.

Angela and Emmett came back up on the porch and it was awkward. Alice came out of the house and grabbed Angela and Rose's hands. "Lets give Jazzy and Bella some time to talk. Rosalie lets get started on Angela! Oh it's going to be so much fun! I have your dress and shoes upstairs and I have the perfect idea for your hair oh and your make is going….." Her voice trailed off while everyone went inside leaving just Jasper and I on the porch.

Awkward silence. I didn't know how to word what I was trying to say to him. Luckily he spoke first.

"Bella I am rather remorseful for what I did on your birthday. I tried very hard to control myself. I want to assure you that in our absence my control has improved and you are in no danger while you are here."

"Oh Jasper I don't blame you at all. I really, really don't. I've been dying to tell you that for months, I don't blame you!" I said and realized I was crying. I took steps towards him and felt calming emotions hit me. I put my arms around his chest and felt him stiffen. He sent more calming waves my way and lifted his arms until we were embracing.

He cleared his throat and patted my back. "You should get upstairs before a little pixie comes down here and kicks my ass." We both dropped our arms and walked upstairs.

I was half tempted to ask where Edward was or just walk up to his room, when the "calm wave" hit me again. "Have fun tonight Bella, but be careful. Don't worry about Edward, Emmett and I are taking him hunting this weekend." Jasper said, bowed like a southern gentleman and walked away.

When I walked into Alice's bathroom I noticed that "Barbie Angela" had already started. Angela was sitting in the pink chair with her dress already on and two vampires were already at work.

Alice was working on Angela's makeup. She had on blue eye shadow that faded into golden eye shadow. Black eye liner and mascara finished her eyes. Alice was just finishing up the little pink lipstick when she noticed me coming in. "Don't even think about running, you're next."

I sat down on Alice's bed. I wonder where Edward was. Everyone seemed to be here and happy to see me, but him. Maybe I took it a little to far the other night at my house. I knew I took it too far when I called him a monster.

I was lost in thought when I saw Angela walk out of the bathroom. She had on her blue and gold dress and light blue flats. Her hair was curly and piled on top of her head accompanied by a golden head band.

"Oh my God Angela! You look beautiful! Ben won't be ale to keep his hands off of you!" I got up and squealed. Actually squealed, just like Alice would.

"Alice said you're next. Good luck!" she said while taking my place on the bed.

I walked into the bathroom and took my place on pink chair, there was no getting out of it, the quicker it starts the quicker it ends. I muttered "Lets just get this over with." while Alice growled and Rose laughed.

"Its good to have you back." Rose whispered into my ear. I wanted to tell her that I was happy everyone was back, I wanted to run into her arms and tell her that I never hated her, I loved her just like a sister would. I just faced the mirror, closed my eyes and tried not to think.

"Open your eyes Bella. You look perfect! Oh Rose we are so freaking good!" One, two, three and open….

Oh. My. God, it couldn't be me. I never looked like this, ever, not since….well prom last year. I wanted to cry.

"I put on water proof mascara, but that doesn't give you a reason to cry, so don't." Alice stated. I blinked the tears away and said thank you.

My hair was curly like Angela but down. The front part of my hair was pulled to the back of my head. The left side was held up by bobby pins and the right was held up a red bow bobby pin. My cheeks had a natural blush, black eyeliner and mascara and black eye shadow that faded to red. The dark circles under my eyes weren't noticeable and my cheeks didn't look hollow. I looked normal. I felt….normal, well a little normal.

I was snapped back into reality when I felt Rosalie put a hand on my shoulder.

"Let me help you slip into your dress and shoes. Alice can you give us a moment?" Rosalie sounded nervous. Alice nodded her head and slipped out.

When I saw in the mirror that Rosalie had turned around to give me some privacy, I stood up and stripped down to just my underwear. I put one foot into the dress and then the other and yanked it up to cover my breast.

"Can you zip me up?"

Rose turned around and was behind me in a flash. In one swift flick of the wrist, my zipper was up. I sat back down as Rose put my heels on. I stood up on wobbly legs and looked at myself in the mirror. Wow I looked….hot.

"Edward is a bastard for leaving you behind….don't worry he'll regret it." Rose whispered in my ear.

"Lets go" she said while she held out her hand. We walked out of the bathroom then out of the bedroom and walked down the hall. I stopped at the stairs that lead to the third floor.

"I'll be right down, ok?" I said. She gave my hand a little squeeze and I squeezed back. I knew it was her way of saying sorry for everything.

I took the steps two at a time and was surprised that I didn't fall to my death. I quietly walked to the end of the hall and saw that Edward's door was open. _I'm just going to take a peak inside, nothing more nothing less. I just wanted to make sure he's ok. _

I walked over to the door and my face dropped when I didn't see Edward. I did take notice to a nice big bed in the middle of the room. The sheets were golden and looked warm. They reminded me of Edward's eyes after he got back from a hunting trip. I felt the pain in my chest growing.

Time to leave, time to drink, but most of all, time to **forget**.

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry its been awhile. My gram is in the hospital and the outcome isn't positive, my boyfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up for good (we're ok now) and my laptop charger is permanently taking a dirt nap. I can't stay away so I stole my sister's charger and tada here's the next chapter! I'll hopefully get another chapter up tonight and the next chapter in my other story. Thank you everyone for baring with me and for the support. Love you guys!**


	6. Honey this mirror isn't big enough PART2

**Disclaimer: twilight isn't mine, and the characters might be a little OOC and some strong language. **

_**Honey this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us Part II**_

**Bella POV**

"I didn't even knew you drank Angela?" Alice said in the front passenger seat. Angela was driving her car, and I was in the back seat, trying to come up with a game plan for getting drunk.

Even though it was dark in the car, I knew that Angela was blushing and smiling. There was only one reason why she went to this stupid parties and she was very proud of that reason.

"Oh no I don't touch the stuff! My parent's would kill me. Ben and I are the DDs. I'd rather waste my gas making sure everyone gets home safe, then have them drink and drive. I mean even buzz driving, is drunk driving."

I loved Angela, she was so cute.

We turned on to Tyler's road, when I noticed about 20 other cars sitting outside. Shit this place was going to be packed. I saw Jess's car and Mike's and Ben was already here. I noticed a couple of other familiar cars, but about nine I didn't know who they belonged too. Great I really wished Jake was here.

Luckily Angela found a parking space right outside the drive way and she parked.

"I'm going to find Ben, I'll come find you in a little ok?" Angela said walking in to the house.

I wanted to get to the closes keg and fast. I needed to be numb, I needed to not feel. I needed to get Edward off my fuckin mind.

"Bella I'm keeping a close eye on you, so don't drink too much ok? Now let's get you one of those fruity drinks that kid on the deck is making. You'll love them." Alice said grabbing onto my elbow and leading me to the back of the house.

When we got to the back yard I started looking around for people I recognized. Lauren was hitting on a bunch of older guys that I didn't know, Jess was flirting with Mike and Ben and Angela were sitting on the bench just listening to the music.

I noticed a Kate girl from my math class making out with a Sean kid from my Spanish class and about half of the football team was smashing beer cans on their heads. Typical high school party.

This was going to be a long night, I could feel it now. I needed to get away from Alice and crawl into the bottom of a bottle. Alice shuffled me over to the make shift bar and ordered me Acapulco Zombie. She handed it to me, and I chugged it in 2 seconds flat.

I was a pro at this after all. I've been doing this at least six times a month for the last six months. I had to be good at this, I had to be good at going numb so I wouldn't have to feel. I wouldn't have to think about Edward. For once I could be just a normal teenager that lives in a normal world.

Alice ordered me two more when she decided that I have had enough. I had to come up with a plan to get away from her, so I could go hog wild on that large amount of alcohol that was just calling my name.

"Alice I have to go to the bathroom." I stated trying not to think about my plan.

"God, you should get that alcohol out of your system. Hurry back I want to dance!"

I waited until Alice's back was turn, and walked into the crowd looking for Jess and Lauren. I found them flirting with two college age guys.

"Jess, Lauren, I need a favor." I said. They looked pissed that I was getting between them and probably the only action they've gotten since Tyler's last party. They both nodded and followed me into the house. As we walked past the dining room table I noticed two bottles of Jägermeister and shoved them into my purse, continuing on with my plan.

-:- -:- -:-

**Edward POV**

I tried to focus on the deer that was fifty feet in front of me, head bent, nibbling on an apple tree. The only reason that I was focusing on the animal so much was so I could ignore Emmett's thoughts of Bella.

Bella was walking down the stairs in a red and white poke a dot dress. She had on red high heels and she managed to make it the whole way without falling. Her hair was curly and her face looked alive. Her cheeks were sunk in and there was no dark circle under her eyes.

I had to thank my sisters for that. She really did look alluring. It made me crave her. It made me want to kick my ass for leaving. How could I ever leave her. I heard the deer take two steps further and had to refocus.

I felt guilty sucking the deer dry, but I needed something to keep me focus. Something to take my mind off of her. I getting ready to attack another deer when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket.

I tried to ignore it, but every three minutes I would feel it doing another round of quivering. Maybe something was wrong with Carlisle or Esme.

I flipped open the phone and noticed that it was Alice. I was about to ignore it and turn off my phone when I realized that something just might be wrong with Carlisle or Esme.

"What Alice?" I asked, frustration leaking into my voice.

"Edward we have a problem. You might need Emmett and Jasper's help, so might as well tell them that the hunting trip is over for the night." She said sounding nervous.

"Whatever it is Alice it can wait until we come home on Sunday, ok?" God I didn't want to be in the same house as Bella for the next three days.

"No it can't. It's Bella….I really need your help here." She emphasized the _really _and I realized that she said Bella. Something was wrong with Bella.

Luckily we weren't too far from Forks, so the drive over to Tyler's only took 25 minutes. I parked the Volvo fifty feet from the house and ran to the back yard.

I scanned the crowd for Alice first, and saw her appear next to Jasper. "What wrong?" I growled now scanning the crowd for Bella.

"I swear that I was only gone for two minutes Edward!" she said hiding half her body behind Jasper. Great, what did she do now.

"Ok? Tell me what happened?" I growled at her again.

"It was those vile Jessica and Lauren. Bella said she had to go to the bathroom, and when she was gone for like five minutes I went looking for her. Along the way I ran into Jess and Lauren. They said that wanted to go up to Tyler's and rearrange his closet as a joke! They were talking about hiding all his ugly gross clothes and putting all his nice clothes front and center in his closet. I couldn't help myself! They lured me in with fashion!"

I didn't see the problem? Besides the fact that she was in Tyler's room with the two biggest bimbos in the senior class. "Alice you are wasting my time."

Alice pulled Jasper all the way in front of her and pointed her little finger behind me. I turned around and noticed Bella dancing on a table and a bunch of guys at the bottom grabbing at her.

**A/N: Ok this chapter is turning out to be longer then I wanted. So there's one more chapter/ part coming tonight. Thanks guys!**


	7. Honey this mirror isn't big enough PART3

**Disclaimer: twilight isn't mine, and the characters might be a little OOC and some strong language. .**

_**Honey this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us Part III**_

**Bella POV**

My plan went off with out a hitch! Jess and Lauren lured Alice in the house and I was free to do what ever the fuck I wanted. First stop was to join Tyler at the bar.

"Keep them coming Jimmy boy!" I said after drink number three. I already lost the feeling in my arms and legs and I was just waiting for the feeling in my chest to go away.

"Here Hells Bells do one of these!" Tyler said while handing me an Electric Sex shot. I did the shot in no time flat and slurred out I wanted another one. I needed to get hammered before Alice figured out what the hell was going on.

Tyler handed me another and another and then his older brother shoved a Jäger Bomb at me. When I slammed the beer glass back down on the table I heard Kevin Rudolf's "Let it Rock". I squealed and ran over to the picnic table. With a little help from Tyler's brother, I made it up on the table without falling over and started to dance.

I noticed a bunch of guys gathering around the table and kept up with the ass shaking. I needed someone to dance with. Usually I danced with Jake or Jess but both of them had their own distractions right now. Everyone had their distractions, everyone had distractions but me.

I reached down to one of the guys and took his beer out of his hand, I slurred "thank you" chugged it and went back to dancing. Miley Cyrus's "Seven Things" came on and this was totally my jam.

I was hopping up and down on the table and spinning around when I lost my foot and fell of the table, into some random guy's lap.

"Hey baby, nice dancing skills." He said while reaching for my waist and making it so I was straddling him, face to face.

Some how I managed to get out, "Thanks…you don't wook fim…fimiligar?"

He laughed at me and said, "Yeah I go to school with Tyler's brother Scott. He said there was going to be some sweet pieces of ass here, and looked like he was right." I felt his hands going furthering up my body when I saw Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Alice rushing towards me.

Shit this was bad, very, very bad. I got off the guy's lap and stumbled back in to the table. Edward looked really pissed. He wouldn't start a scene though would he?

"Grab your shit Bella, we are leaving now." He said through clinched teeth, reaching for my arm.

"You're not the bloss of meeee anymore Edward Cullen, so leave me the fffuck alone." I managed to slur and get out of his grip.

"Dude she doesn't want to leave with you. Don't worry I'll make sure she gets home in the morning." Scott's friend said standing up. I heard not just Edward growl, but the rest of the Cullens behind him too.

I stumbled over to the bar and grabbed my purse and sat down on the ground. I promised myself I wouldn't cry but I couldn't feel my face so I didn't know what was happening up there.

I didn't feel Jasper or Emmett grabbing my arms, but before I knew it I was in Edward's Volvo. Emmett was on one side, Jasper on the other and they were holding me down. Alice was in the front passenger seat and Edward was fuming behind the wheel.

-:- -:- -:-

**Edward POV**

I can not belong that Alice let this happen. My sweet and innocent Bella was reduced to table dancing and making out with random guys. I wonder if this was what it was like when Jake was there. I could kill that mutt for not protecting her better!

_Edward don't even think about it. Bella would kill you if you killed her boyfriend. _Alice said looking over at me. Bella's boyfriend? I could ring her little neck.

_Jasper would kill you if you killed me so stop thinking about that too. _Damn she was good.

I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to get the hell out of her and I didn't just mean the car. I needed to get away from Forks, from Bella, from my family.

"Emmie can you roll down the window its getting fuckin hot in here." I heard Bella say from the back seat. He rolled the window down and cool air filled the car.

"Emmie how pissed would Rose be if I kissed you right now?" Bella slurred out. I almost drove off the road I was so shocked she said it.

_Dude Eddie calm down it's the alcohol talking. I remember when I was eighteen….for the first time. _I looked into the review mirror and saw Emmett's eyes shifting over to Bella.

"Um yeah little squirt I think she'd be pretty pissed. Plus I'd rather not kiss my little sister."

"How bout you Jasper. Want to watch me and Alice kissin'?" she said trying to sit up. At first I felt a wave arousal stream through the car. One shot in the review mirror and the arousal went to waves of calm.

I pushed my foot down more hoping this ride would just be over.

_Edward calm down, Jasper would never do that! Oh and just so you know Bella's going to throw up in fifty five seconds. She's debating on the open window and you. I can't tell which ones she's going to pick yet._

Great just what I wanted, puke in my car or on the side of my car. I pushed down even harder and realized the petal was already making contact with the floor. I was hoping she'd pick the window.

Just then Bella lurked further and throw up all over my lap. I laid my head on the head rest and listened to Emmett's booming laughter. Poor Jasper was breaking a sweat trying to send out calming waves.

-:- -:- -:-

**Bella POV**

I felt Emmett pick me up bridal style and carry me into the house. My stomach was churning and my head was already throbbing. I heard him muttered to Rose and Esme that they were taking me to Alice and Jasper's room.

My head kept hitting his chest with every step he took and to keep from passing out I stayed focusing on my swinging feet. I felt him put me down on soft sheets, turn his back and walk out the door.

I stayed perfectly still so I could hear what was happening downstairs. I couldn't stay here, I couldn't stay in Alice's room. Some how I managed to lift my arm and take my heels off. I left them on the floor and got to me feet.

Since I was in a house of vampires, I had to keep 150% silent at all time. When I got to the steps that lead to the third floor I looked behind me to make sure no one was coming. Alice didn't see this coming?

I hiked my dress up and got on all fours. I really hope no one was coming up because this was not a pretty site. There was no way I could make a flight of stairs walking though.

I made it to the third floor without being detected. I started to laugh my ass off when I realized that I was playing secret agent in a fuckin poke a dot dress.

"Secret agent man…." I started to mutter and do half ass flips down the hall. When I got to Edward's door I pulled myself up to my feet and all but ran to his nice warm golden bed.

I laid my purse down first and crawled in. It took me three tries and a fit of giggles before I got the damn thing open. I jerked one bottle of Jäger out and spilled a little on the golden cover before the sweet liquid hit my lips.

I had a fourth of it drank when I heard heavy footsteps running down the hall. Edward appeared in the door way. "Jesus Christ Bella, have you been here the whole time?!" He bellowed at me.

"Duh Eddie. I came up here and waited-ed for you, but yous fuckin taken forever. I almost started myself. But look now you are! Please come over here." I said getting up to my knees, giggling. I was getting hornier by the moment and Jake was no where in sight.

"Bella you are drunk. And I don't know why you are in my room but you need to go back down to Alice's. Give me your hand, I will help you." He reached for my hand and I playfully pushed it away.

I put the Jäger bottle down on the nigh stand and fell back on the mattress. I hiked my dress up to the top of my thighs, inviting him in.

"Please Edward I need you, here." I said. My brain was telling me to lift my arm and point it at my blazing hot core, but I could have been pointing at my feet for all I knew.

I heard a sexual growl ripple out of Edward's chest. "Bella you are drunk. Now let me help you."

This wasn't working out as I planned. I hiked my dress up so it was the hem was laying right above my belly button. "Eddie please, I wish you'd fuck me now!" I screamed at a volume I couldn't gauge. Before I could pick my head up to gauge his expression, Edward was on top, straddling me, wrist pinned above my head.

"Careful what you wish for." he growled in my ear. Oh. My. God. I am finally going to fuck Edward Cullen.

**Song that inspired:**

The amount of pills I'm taking, counteracts the booze I'm drinking

and this vanity I'm breaking, lets me live my life like this

and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say

Oh baby let me in, Oh baby let me in

Well I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making

and the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this

And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say

Oh baby let me in, Oh baby let me in

And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much

You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out We're not working out

And you can't touch my brother and you can't keep my friends and we're not working out, we're not working out

This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it

Well I hope I'm not mistaken by the news I heard from waking

and it's hard to say I'm shaken, by the choices that I make

and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say

Oh baby let me in Oh baby let me in

Well I'll choose this life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making

And I get a little shaken, because I live my life like this

And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say Oh baby let me in Oh baby let me in

**A/N: Cliffhanger I know sorry. Its like 4 am here and I need to get to bed. Don't worry I'll update soon. Once again thanks for sticking with me guys. Reviews puh-leez?!**


	8. Slow Down, Gives You Hell

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Some strong language. **

**Edward POV**

I wasn't really going to do it. I would never have sexual relations with Bella before marriage, especially while she wasn't sober.

"Come on Edward, fuck me. Jake wouldn't hesitant to do it, so why are you? Aren't you better then him?" she slurred out. I rolled off of her and walked over to the floor to ceiling window. I needed to clear my head.

"Come on Edward, have sex with me." I looked over and she noticed her trying to sit up and reach for the Jägermeister.

I couldn't take this anymore. If my heart was still beating, it would be breaking right now. The woman I love was wasting away to nothing, destroying herself with alcohol. I had to do something, I had to get her sober and thinking clearly.

I darted into my private bathroom, and turned the bath nozzle on full blast. I remember reading that cold water helps sober up a person. I couldn't tell how cold the water was, but it was all the way to the right.

I ran back into the bedroom and saw Bella sipping away at the Jägermeister. I grabbed the bottle out of her hand and slammed it down on the night stand careful not to break the bottle.

I picked her up bridal style and carried her to the bathroom.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She screamed, kicking and flailing her arms around, trying to make contact with my body.

I didn't even answer her. Instead I stood in front of the bath tub, shifted Bella in my arms, stood on one foot, and turned the nozzle off with the other. The bath tub was nearly filled to the top with water.

"I'm not going to ask you again, what the fuck are you doing?!" She screamed as I dropped her, clothes and all, into the cold pool of water.

When she hit the water, it spilled over the edge soaking my feet and the bottom of my pants. Droplets of water hit my shirt, face, and hair.

As her head resurfaced above the water, she let out a high pitched scream. "WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD! THIS DRESS COST ME A MONTH AND A HALF WORTH OF PAY CHECKS!" She screamed, cupping a bunch of water and throwing it at my face, missing me by miles.

"I'll buy you another fuckin dress then." I said running my hands through my unkept hair, trying to grab control of this situation.

"I don't want shit from you Edward. When I said I wanted to fuck you, well I, I lied! I lied just like you lied about loving me. I wanted to fuck you then leave you hurting just like you did to me! You never meant anything you said and neither did I! I used to love you Edward, but now, back there in your bed, I regret making you feel special enough to fuck. And truth be told I miss you, and truth be told I'm lying. YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME!"

She started thrashing her arms, legs, and head around kicking up the water up and making a bigger mess on the floor. I turned towards the mirror, pinching the bridge of my nose when I heard a _crack_.

I whipped my head around and noticed Bella slowly slipping under the water. _Just. Fuckin. Great. _

I ran over to the bathtub and pulled Bella's head above the water. She was still breathing, and her eyes were blue and fluttering closed. I pulled her completely out of the water and placed her on the tiled floor. This wasn't going how I wanted it to.

I sat down on my knees and pulled Bella into my lap. My shirt and pants were soaked all the way through, clinging to my body, but it didn't even matter to me.

"God Bella, please open your eyes, come on baby, open your eyes! I'm sorry, love, PLEASE open your eyes!" I rubbed my thumb along her eye lids, coaxing them to open. Bella's eyes fluttered open and just stared up at me. For a moment I noticed love in her eyes, a look that I haven't seen in months. I missed that look so much my heart ached.

She lifted her arm and I thought she was reaching for me. Instead she reached for the back of her head.

"My head hurts Edward. Man I drank too much tonight. I need my bag, I'm all wet, I need to change."

I couldn't help but let a laugh escape my lips. _Drank too much _was an understatement.

I laid her head back down on the floor and stood up. I walked over to the closet and grabbed a stack of towels. Rolling two up I gently lifted Bella's head and placing the towels under it. I took the other four and placed them on the counter.

I walked back into the room and searched for Bella's bag. It was sitting next to the door, half unzipped, clothes and a toothbrush spilling out. I pushed the articles back into the bag and zipped it back up.

Walking back into the bathroom I noticed Bella was still laying on the floor, blinking up at the ceiling. I put her over night back down next to the towels, and grabbed two off of the stack.

"Bella, your bag is over her next to two towels. I'll be over in the bedroom drying off and changing. Take your time, if you need me just call."

I shut the door behind me and turned around. I wanted to go back in there and hold her, make sure she was fine. Instead I placed my hand up to the door and listened to her intake of breaths.

I walked over to my dresser, and searched from some dry black boxers, black slacks and a new crisp white button down. I laid my new clothes on the bed, then grabbed the two soft towels.

I undid the buttons of my shirts, and peeled it off my skin. Next came my pants, my boxers and then my socks. I grabbed one towel and wrapped it around my waist and then took the second towel and started to towel off my chest and hair.

I needed to clear my head. I pushed my clothes aside and sat down on the bed. I took my unnecessary breaths, needing something normal in my very un-normal life.

If this was how the rest of my life was going to be, I'm giving up right now. I'd rather leave and have Jake take care of Victoria, then sit here and watch Bella destroy her life.

I got to my feet, bent over and gathered up my clothes. I walked over to the hamper and dropped them in, making a mental note to get them out tonight before they get moldy.

I walked back over to the bed and grabbed for my clothes. I pulled on my boxer and slipped on my shirt, when I heard the bathroom door open.

I slowly turned and noticed Bella standing in the door way, with nothing on but a silk white bra and panties set. I knew it was very ungodly of me, but I couldn't peel my eyes away from her outfit. It was snow white and looked so soft and smooth as butter, it had tuxedo pleating and little black bows.

"Like what you see?" She asked, her voice husky and laced with arousal.

She took one, two, three steps towards me and stopped. She kept her eyes locked on mine as walked towards me and I backed away from her. She kept walking and I kept back away until my knees hit mattress and I fell onto it.

"Don't be afraid Edward. I didn't mean what I said in there. I want you so bad. I know you can feel it, smell it, sense it. Just let go, give me what I want and I'll let you alone."

I scrambled across the bed and stood on the other side, putting the bed between us. "I can't do this Bella. You are drunk, you did mean what you said. Jesus Christ, I want you to hate me."

Bella sat down on the bed and pulled her legs up to her chest, rocking back and forth.

"I knew you were going to be like this. God I am stupid to think that you actually wanted me!"

If only she know how wrong she was. I wanted her, God I wanted her so bad. Especially with that outfit she had one, I wanted to take her right then. The erection in my boxers was straining so badly it ached.

I pinched the bridge of my noses and closed my eyes trying to clear my head, for the hundredth time tonight. When I opened my eyes back up, Bella was knocking back the Jägermeister again.

I don't know what came over me, but my blood was boiling and the annoyance in me was rolling off in waves. The monster in me took over and I lunged at Bella.

I grabbed her ankles and yanked her down on the bed, so she was laying flat on her back. Still holding onto her ankles, I swung my legs over hers and straddled her. I grabbed the Jägermeister bottle in one hand and throw it across the room hitting the wall. The bottle shattered on impact, while leaving a whole in the wall. I let go of her ankles and grabbed her wrist in one hand and her face in the other.

"I'm sick of this shit Bella! GROW THE FUCK UP NOW! You aren't a child anymore! Stop drinking, stop the drugs, the pills, the boys! STOP. IT. ALL!" I said shaking her face, making her understand. If I could I would bawling like a little baby.

"EDWARD! Get off of her!" I heard Emmett shout behind me. I felt three sets of arms grab me and yank me off the bed and shuffle me to my feet. I was being dragged to the bathroom by Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper.

I looked over my shoulder to see Alice, Rosalie and Esme surround Bella, handing her one of my shirts to cover herself up. Esme grabbed her around the shoulders and tried soothing her.

I was thrown into the bathroom and the door was slammed shut behind my family. I met Jasper's eyes, then Emmett's and last and most important, Carlisle's.

"Son, please tell me that you weren't going to…." _rape her_, he finished in his mind.

I shook my head no.

Emmett walked over to me and slapped me so hard I stumbled and smacked my ass off the floor._ Edward, if you fuckin hurt her, I'll kill you. _Emmett said in his mind.

"It wasn't like that! How could you even think that!" I managed to choke out, anger and venom seeping into my mouth.

"Well what are we suppose to think? We heard you two fighting, then nothing, then a bottle being smashed into wall, more yelling and then when we come in you two are half naked and you're looming over her! What would you think, huh?" I've never seen Emmett so infuriated before.

I put my head in my hands and cried. Since I couldn't cry, they came out as dry sobs. I wanted to tell them how she came onto me, I was just trying to help her, sober her up. But I didn't want Bella to come across as a drunk, floozy.

"Tomorrow I'm going to look for Victoria. The sooner she dies, the sooner I can leave."

I heard Carlisle walk over to me, and bend down. I felt his gentle hand lay on my shoulder.

"It's ok son, I promise everything will be ok." If only he knew, he couldn't promise me something like that.

Songs that inspire:

*Slow Down- The Academy Is...

*Gives You Hell- All American Rejects

**A/N: Hey guys, incase you didn't read in my other story **_**24 looks good on you**_**, this has been a really shitty week. Sorry I haven't update sooner, but my gram passed and I was sick and this semester is already kickin' my ass. So thank you so much for sticking with me. On a better note, my new laptop charger has arrived in the mail and is already been broken in, so I can update sooner. REVIEWS, REVIEWS, REVIEWS, and I'll update sooner. Thanks so much for everything guys, love you! **


	9. What and What Not

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight characters or bayside songs used in this story. Slight strong language.**

**Bella POV**

_Ring! Ring! Ring! _

Ugh. My head was pounding.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Blindly I followed the ringing and found my phone laying on my bed next to me. My eyes felt like they weighed a ton each, I couldn't even open them to check the ID.

"Hello?" My throat felt like sandpaper. I didn't remember drinking Goldschlager last night, but there wasn't much I remembered from last night.

"Bella? Jesus I've been calling you for the last hour. Where are you? Are you ok?" Jake said, nervousness lacing his voice.

"Jake? God calm down. I'm ok, I was sleeping, last night was…wild. God I wish you would of came. Jim was mixing drinks, and you know he makes the best-"

"Jesus Christ Bella. I was worried sick about you and all you have to say is that Jim was the fuckin bartender last night." Jake said cutting me off. Great I had a wicked hang over and all he wanted to do was fight.

"You know what Jake? You're my boyfriend, not my fuckin father. What did I tell you about worrying about me?- Don't do it, ok? I'm sick of everyone worrying about me. I'm fine. I was sleeping, I mean it is the morning, people usually sleep in the morning."

"Morning? What are you talking about, do you even know what time it is?"

No, I had no clue what time it was. I was surprised that Charlie hasn't come in yet to wake me up. I rolled over, so I was facing my night stand. I blindly reached for my alarm clock, trying to open my eyes and turn my clock around at the same time.

I couldn't find my clock though. Did I knock it off when I stumbled in so early this morning?

"My eyes are like glued shut. So no I don't know what time it is. Please enlighten me." Ok so I was a little bitter. But I had a bad hang over and a boyfriend that was pissin' me off.

"Bells…its two in the afternoon. Where are you? Angela's? I'll come get you. We'll come back here so Charlie doesn't have to see you like this."

I rubbed the back of my eyes over my eye lids, trying to make them open. I was so confused.

"I'm at Charlie's."

"Bells I just called there. He said you were staying at a friends. Now let me ask you again Isabella. Where. Are. You?" He sounded like he was talking to pack, not his girlfriend. After Edward left I learned not to shit from anyone, especially my boyfriend. I kept rubbing my eyes trying to will them open.

"Fuck I don't know. If my damn eyes would ever open I'd be able to tell you." Just then my eyes cracked open. Yep I wasn't in my room. Despite the fact that it was two in the afternoon, the blinds were pulled shut and the room was dark.

As my eyes adjusted I took notice to what I was wearing. Silk bra and panties and a button down shirt that was half buttoned cockeyed. Then I noticed that the bed I was laying in was double the size of mine. Next to the bed was a glass of water and a bottle of Excedrin. This room looked oddly familiar, like I've been here before.

That's when I noticed the black leather couch pushed out against the wall. In the far corner, furthest away from me was Edward, eyes locked on mine.

"Baby, I gotta go. I don't feel well. I'll call you later, ok?" I hung up before he could even answer.

Small clips of last night came back to me.

I tricked Alice so I could get wasted.

The Cullens came to get me.

I went up to Edward's room to seduce him.

He…denied me.

I drank more, a lot more.

Then we fought.

Then?….

That's all I remembered. I groaned out loud. I reached for the bottle of Excedrin and the glass of water. I jiggled the bottle until six pills popped out. I needed to numb out and quick.

"The bottle says you're only suppose to take two." Edward said, swiping four pills out of my hand before I even blinked. He sat down on the bed, next to my feet.

I frowned, then swallowed the two pills. The pills jabbed at the walls of my throat, and the water stung on the way down.

"Well I have a pretty big fuckin headache, doc." I said laughing. I looked up at Edward and he was smiling. Actually smiling. That's when I thought of something.

"Aren't you suppose to be hunting? Not watching me sleep?" I gathered his button down closer to my chest and yanked the blanket up higher.

"Alice called me to come pick you two up. Don't you remember anything?"

Honestly I didn't remember much, it was pretty embarrassing. I never wanted Edward to see me like this.

"Um not really. I remember being at the party, and tricking Alice…but that's basically it." I said blushing.

Just then my stomach churned. I was going to throw up. The only way to make this any more embarrassing would be for me to throw up all over Edward and his beautiful, soft golden bed spread.

"Bella are you ok?" Edward ask sounding honestly concerned.

I pushed the bed spread back and all but sprinted to the bathroom shutting the door behind me. I pushed the toilet lid up and dry heaved before the real stuff came up.

This was the part I hated about the party scene. The next morning. You either wake up in an awkward situation or you wake up, having to throw up.

I throw up again, and then once more when I felt my stomach muscles stop clinching, I flushed the toilet and leaned my head against the floor. The cold tiles made me feel better.

I heard a soft rasp on the door. "Bella, are you ok?" Edward asked on the other side.

I most defiantly was not ok. I obviously drank too much last night and now I'm paying the consequences. I drank too much because I loved Edward and he was back and yet I drank too much because I hated Edward and well…he was back.

And now? I am sitting on his bath room floor, with barely anything on, puking up my guts. This was not a pretty picture at all.

"Bella, do you want me to call Jacob to come get you? I don't mind, I'll just use your phone."

I panicked, Jake didn't know I was here. He would kill me if he knew that I was staying here! I got up on my wobbly knees and made my way to the door, barely finding the strength to open it.

"Don't! He doesn't know I'm here. He thinks I'm at Jessica's or something. The last thing I need is a bigger fuckin headache." I said wrapping my arms around my chest. I needed to get dress.

"Where is everyone else?" I asked instead.

"Since we didn't get to really hunt, everyone went hunting. Alice had a vision that you were going to be sick, so she asked me to stay with you, so you weren't here alone or didn't have to go home to Charlie."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. What else was there to say?

Edward walked over to me, brushing the hair away from my eyes. I prayed to God I didn't reek of old beer and puke. I probably should of sprayed myself after my own private session with my little porcelain buddy.

"You looked chilled. I'll let you go get dress. I'll be downstairs in the kitchen when you are done." He said rubbing his thumb along my jaw line. Then he was gone.

What just happened? I thought while sitting down on Edward's bed. I put my head in my hands.

This honestly can't be happening? Can it? Edward was back. Edward was back. Edward was… downstairs alone with her in the house. Ok Bella, fuckin breath through this. He left, he's back, you're with Jake. You still…love him. I groaned. This was bad, real bad.

I quickly got dressed in a pair of jeans and a Forks High Football shirt. I slipped on a pair of flip flops and made my way downstairs. I managed to make it to the kitchen without falling. When I walked into the kitchen Edward was popping two slice of bread in the toaster, and butter to already cooked pieces.

"Toast should help your stomach. I also made you tea. Two tea spoons of sugar and French vanilla creams, just like I remembered." He turned around and I saw that crooked smile on his face again.

"Thank you." I said while sitting down at the island that divided the kitchen in half. Edward slid a plate of butter toast and a hot cup of tea in front of me.

"Nice shirt. I prefer you wearing mine, but what can a guy do?"

"You shirt smelled like alcohol and puke-" God that was embarrassing to admit to. "I thought I'd wash it and give it back to you."

"Nah, you can keep it. Sleep in it, paint in it, burn, it doesn't really matter." He said turning back around.

I picked up a piece of toast and nibbled on the corners.

"Bella I think we need to talk- clears throat- I have a couple of concerns." My second round of toast popped and Edward started buttering it.

I took another bite of toast and groaned. Edward and Jake would be the best of friends if they weren't mortal enemies.

"I already heard it from Jake, I don't need to hear it from you too." I am really sick and tired of people bossing me around and lecturing me.

"Don't even get me started on your _boyfriend_. I could kick his ass for not taking better care of you. I just…I well I just worry about you Bella. Last night was…a different side of you. I side I didn't like."

Did Edward just say that he cared about me?…Well not in those words, but he cares?

I couldn't help but laugh. Not a 'ha ha funny laugh', but 'I'm just now realizing how pathetic my life is' laugh and I felt tears escape my eyes. Before I could blink them away, Edward was behind me, turning me around to face him.

"Don't cry Bella. I want to help you. I missed you. God I should of never left. This is all my fault. Baby, I love you. Please let me help you." My body stiffened. Did he just say he still loved me? No this was all wrong? He was the one that left me, the one that didn't love me anymore.

He ran his thumb over my cheek again and again, try to catch all the tears before they slide down my face onto my shirt.

"I remember when I first saw you, love at first time. The first time I kissed you, touched you, felt you. The fire used to burn in your heart and in your eyes. You used to dream you used to care you used to love you used to fight, for anything at all. Now? All you care about is how to block of the real world with alcohol, pills, boys. Love I heard everyone's thoughts. I know what you've been up to since I've left. I'm…"

He stopped like he was searching for the right words to say. To explain how he felts.

"I'm…discouraged. Not with you, never with you. With myself. I blame myself for this. I should of never left. I should of stayed. I am such a coward. Please let me make it up to you, Isabella." He grabbed my hands with his own and pulled me off the stool.

He dropped my left hand and picked up my chin. I kept my eyes locked on the floor, knowing where this was going.

"Please Bella, look at me."

I couldn't see anything through the tears in my eyes. I managed to blink tem away before looking up at Edward through my lashes.

"I'm going to make this ok. I…need to help you. You need help. Rehab or something. We can talk to Carlisle. He can help."

Rehab? That caught my attention. I didn't need help from him or anyone. I jerked my head away.

"I'm not a drunk Edward. I had a little too much to drink last night, it doesn't make me a drunk. I was upset with you being back, and I needed to calm down that's it. Don't act like you know me, because you don't. I'm not the sweet innocent Bella you left standing alone in the woods, ok?" I yanked my hands out of his.

"I don't feel well, I'm going upstairs to lay down. If me being here is too big of an inconvenience for you, I'll stay in Alice's room, I doubt she'll mind."

"Bella it's not like that. I want you here. I want you here with me. Please let me lay down with you."

My body screamed at me to say yes, my heart screamed at me to say no.

"Edward I have a boyfriend now….Jake is, well he'd be pissed if he knew I'd be here."

I couldn't do it though. I couldn't tell him no. I needed him, more then he knew. My feet deceived me and started walking towards Edward. Before I could stop myself I was crushing myself up against Edward's chest.

"I want you to come lay with me." I said, knowing that this was going to make it harder. One of us was going to get hurt. I either hurt Jake or I hurt Edward or they hurt me.

I couldn't help myself though. I loved Edward. My heart would always belong to him. No matter what he did or what he might do, my heart would always be his. I think he knew it too, he had.

Edward picked me up bridal style and carried me up to his room. He gently laid me down on my back, on the side of the bed closest to the window. He then laid down on the opposite side, facing me.

I didn't want to say and never did he. Words would just ruin this moment. Instead I cried and Edward just watched, just let me do my thing. I don't know if it was the churning in my stomach, the fact that Edward was laying with me or the realization that I lived a pathetic life, but I cried.

"I don't know if I can do this." I finally said breaking the silence.

I expected Edward to say something right away, or to just get up and leave, but he didn't. He just laid there.

"I…I'm here for you as a friend. You know that right? It's going to be ok."

He grabbed for my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. I should of taken my hand back, but instead I just cried harder.

_Songs that inspired:_

_What and What Not - Bayside_

_Demons - Bayside_

**A/N: Not too much to say in this author note. This chapter is all bout the bayside songs, since I do love them! Check out their songs, it helps you understand this chapter more. Thanks you guys for reading and review. Keep them up I love hearing from you guys. Oh, I kinda wanted to do a Q&A thing, so if you guys have any questions or concerns just write them in a review, if I get any I'll add them to the next chapter. I'll update soon guys, but reviews always make me move faster :] much love!**


	10. Foot Impressions

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, the characters or the Bayside song used for this chapter.**

**Bella POV**

"Thanks again for bringing me home." I told the windshield for the third time since I got into Edward's car. It was dark out now and I saw our reflection in the window. Edward looked sad, but not as sad as I looked.

I didn't dare look straight at him, I couldn't. I just spent the last three hours crying and talking. The whole time Edward was very tolerant with me. Holding my hand, rubbing my back, never pressing me for more information.

He told me about how, ever since he's been back, he's been watching guard outside my house. He told me he's been waiting for my bedroom window to open, to come inside. He's been waiting for…me. He suggested the whole friendship thing again, telling me he could be my best friend, nothing more, nothing less. I couldn't do it though. I couldn't take it. I could not shake the months of suffering, being so vulnerable. I would never be that vulnerable again.

"Like I said before, my pleasure. Is Charlie home?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw his hand lift of the steering wheel, then go right back down.

"No. He's at La Push. I'll be fine. I didn't need a babysitter six months ago and I don't need one now. I'm a big girl." I said undoing my seat belt.

"I didn't mean it like that Bella. Victoria is still out there, trying to get to you. The whole point of me coming back is to get to her before she gets to you."

I winced. I knew it was the only reason he was back, but hearing it out in the open hurt more then I thought.

Edward most of noticed my discomfort. He finally lifted his hand off the steering wheel and placed it on my thing. I should of pulled away, but instead I felt the heat pool between my legs.

"I didn't mean it like that either. I couldn't stay away from you Bella. I already told you that. I just.. I want you to be safe."

"I am safe Edward. I've survived September, October, November, January, and half way through February without you." I said ticking the months off on my fingers. Now it was his turn to wince.

"I don't feel well, I'm going to lay down and waiting for Charlie to get home." I said opening the door. When I stepped out of the car, Edward was already in front of me, my bag in hand.

"Let me at least carry you're bag inside. I won't stay, I swear."

"Suit yourself." I muttered to myself even though I knew he heard.

I hurried up the sidewalk, knowing I was minutes away from a hot bath and more pills to ease this headache. I reached up for the key, felt the cold metal and slipped it into the lock. I opened the door, hearing it smack against the wall.

I blocked the entry way with my small frame. I reached out and grabbed my bag out of Edward's hand.

"Thanks again for the ride and um…earlier. I'll just see you on Monday at school, ok? Tell everyone I'm sorry for how I acted last night, it was out of line. Oh and tell Alice I'll call her later tonight. I can handle it from here." I said, wanting to say more, but knowing I shouldn't. Edward raised his hand and brushed his cold fingers along my jaw line.

"I'll be waiting for that window. I'll wait forever. You are just as stubborn I remember." He whispered.

I back away from his touch, and into the house. Not breaking eye contact with him, I shut the screen door, then the main door. Staring at the door, trying to see through to Edward, I started to blink back tears. I wanted to scream that I wasn't stubborn, I was pissed because he broke my heart.

Out of the corner of my eyes I noticed a moment in the living room. I whipped my head to the left and saw a big massive body sitting on the couch.

"Jake?" I asked, still trying to blink back tears.

He just sat there. Tapping his leg, shaking the whole house, causing my teeth to knock against each other. This was not a good situation.

"Hey baby." I said, taking the few steps to the living room. He didn't look at me, just kept, tap, tap, tapping away, shaking the whole house.

I stood in front of Jake, putting my tiny hand on his massive knee, trying to calm him enough to make the shaking stop.

"You were with him, weren't you?" He asked, not looking at me. Just staring at the wall, staring into nothing. I knew who _him _was, but didn't want to say. It didn't sound so innocent out in the open.

"Weren't you?!" He said, jerking up, looming over me. He grew, he always grew, he had to be closer to 7 feet now, to my tiny 5'5'' frame.

"Yeah." I whispered, knowing this was going to end badly. "But it wasn't like that. I was at the party and-" But I was cut off before I could finish.

"Did you really just say 'it wasn't like that'? Yeah because in movies and books every time someone says that, it is like that. Let me try to figure this out, you went to the party and you got drunk and ended up at the _Cullen's_, and you did something with him then he gave you a ride home? And yet nothing happened? You are such a fuckin liar Bella! You. Lied. To. Me. About everything, about who you with, what happened, about everything!"

Jake was really shaking now. I knew that if I didn't calm him down, he was going to phase in my house, right in front of me. At first I pictured Jake as a big wolf in my tiny living room, shredding the furniture, hitting the ceiling. Then my visions changed to Emily's scarred face, my scarred face.

"Jake calm down. I'll, I'll tell you everything, just calm down." I said putting my hand on his arm.

"I'm not calming down Isabella! You fuckin lied to me, stayed at my enemies house, drunk. Who knows what really happened! You know, you reek of him! I smell him all over you. It's all over your clothes, your hair, your face, your hands! I bet even the inside of you reeks of him!" He yelled into my face grabbing my thigh.

"I bet right here I could smell him. You slept with him didn't you? I bet while you were shit face, he took advantage of you, and you loved it! I bet if you took your panties off, he'd still linger there!"

"Jake it wasn't like that at all! I went with Alice, Edward wasn't even suppose to be there. You can't keep me away from Alice! She's my friend, my sister. You don't fuckin' own me, I can be friends with whoever I want!" I shouted right back. He just shook more.

"Bella, I'm trying to protect you from them! Do you remember what they did to you? Do you honestly think they care about you? You're just a human to them, you're their pet, their toy. To the pack and I though, you're Isabella. You're one of us, the sooner you realize that the better. The Cullens don't care about you, we do."

I didn't want to believe him.

"It's not like that. They do care. That's why they're back." I said more to myself then to Jake. I am why they're back, wasn't I? Edward said that he was here to kill Victoria. Then leave, but that's changed now hasn't it?

Jake could read the uncertainty on my face. This got him to calm down. He stopped shaking, and so did the house.

"I know you know it Bella. They didn't want you six months ago and they don't want you now. It's time to get over them, get over _him_. You love me and I love you. Now come on, everyone's down at La Push waiting for us."

I didn't want to go down to La Push. Jake's words kept rolling around my mind. They didn't want me six months ago, so why would any of them now. Hearing the words coming out of someone else's mouth made me sick to my stomach.

"I'm going to bed." I told Jake walking towards the stairs. I felt his warm mammoth hand grab my wrist.

"No you aren't. You're coming to La Push with me." Jake said spinning me around so I was facing him. I tried yanking my arm back.

"No I'm not, I am emotional and physically drain and the last thing I need is to be hanging out with you and the loud, annoying, dense, pack." I regretted the words before they even flew out of my mouth. I couldn't believe I just called the pack, loud, annoying and dense.

I'll admit the pack tends to get on my nerves, but it was still rude of me to say. At first they were hesitant to let me in on their secret, but after Jake stood up for me, they've been nothing but a family to me.

I glanced down at the floor then back up to Jake's face. The look on his face read, pissed off.

"What did you just say?" He asked between his teeth.

"I..I didn't mean it, Jake I'm sorry. I'm just irritated and I have a hang over. I didn't mean to say-" But I didn't get to finish before my ass was hitting the floor.

Jake was standing over me, hatred in his eyes. I checked my body to make sure he didn't hit me anywhere and felt the pain in my shoulder where he pushed me down. I knew he wouldn't hit me, he just wouldn't do that to me. Tears started to sting my eyes, I tried blinking them away when I looked up to an empty space. Jake was already gone.

I pushed myself up to my feet and walked over to the phone. I was never going to open my window again, but I needed someone to talk to. I needed to feel normal, not the empty person I am. I punched the numbers into the phone and cleared my throat. It rang three times before it was picked up.

"Do you think you can come over?" I asked, hurt seeping into my voice.

**Jake POV**

Running back to La Push, all I could think of was pushing Bella. The look on her face when she checked her face to make sure I didn't hit her. I can't believe I hurt her. I felt like a monster. I thought I had my anger under control but when it comes to that blood sucking asshole, who's trying to steal Bella back, I couldn't help myself.

I was almost to La Push, when I felt the pack enter my mind. They knew the fight now, as if they were standing there in the living room with us.

"Meeting in thirty minutes. Be ready for a heavy punishment." I heard Sam's voice whisper into my mind. I could sense that everyone in the pack was disgusted with me.

"I didn't mean to do it. It was either that or I phase in her house. It's the blood sucker's fault." I all but screamed, hoping they'd understand and take my side.

I heard grunts and knew that they didn't. I was passing over the La Push/ Forks border now, slowing down. When I got to the woods behind my house, I changed back into human form, running into my garage to get the clothes I left in there.

I quickly changed, then walked up to my house, punching open the door almost breaking it off the hinges. I walked into living room to see Charlie, Seth and my dad lounging on the couch watching the game and eating pizza.

"Did Bella finally come home?" Charlie asked, focusing on the TV.

"Yeah. Edward brought her home. They were too busy fucking all night to call me." I said, hatred lacing my voice.

Charlie dropped his slice of pizza on the floor and turned around to stare at me, mouth and eyes wide open. I turned on my heels and headed for the door. I barely heard Charlie shouting for me to come back.

**Song that inspired chapter:**

"**Foot Impressions" **

**So I'll leave you**

**To enjoy the days you spend without me**

**So wish in your hand and I'll shit in mine**

**And I bet you mine fills up first**

**Words seem to roll right off your tongue**

**You articulate in perfect sentences and make a masterpiece of ending my life**

**So clever with your let downs as you fill the air with lies**

**So I'll sit alone and wonder what is really going on beyond your eyes**

**I'll circle your house for days and hope that you come to meet me**

**So many foot impressions form a moat**

**And you'll see how deep my feelings are for you**

**And you still won't care**

**So I'll leave youTo enjoy the days you spend without me**

**Let's hold hands and be the best of friends**

**-bayside**

**A/N: Check out the bayside song, it really helps you understand the chapter. Thanks for reading guys! Sorry I'm not updating as quick as I want to be, but I'm in my last semester of school and its rough. Please review guys and let me know what's good, bad, and ugly. ( haha sorry I was watching Clint Eastwood movies last night.) Much love!**


	11. My Life Would Suck Without You

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. **

**Edward POV**

I drove extra fast on my way home, rethinking everything that has happened in the last short days. My head was screaming at me that I should of never came back. My heart on the other hand ached that I needed Bella. I needed to help Bella, even if it was as friends.

I came to the conclusion that when I get back to the house, I'm talking to Carlisle about rehabilitation centers that would be best fitted for Bella. I figured the further away the center is away from Forks, the better.

I didn't know who I should blame the most for this. Myself for leaving? The mutt for not taking care of her? Or those friends, that she trusted? Of course the blame always fell back on me. I should of never left, no my family should of never moved here to begin with.

When I finally made it home, I noticed Esme and Carlisle sitting on the porch swing talking about this weekend. My mother's thoughts wandering into my mind first.

_How is she doing son? I hope she isn't feeling so ill now._ She asked, concerned.

"She's doing fine. Just a hang over from drinking so much. She's lucky she didn't get alcohol poising instead." I said climbing up the steps and taking a spot, leaning against the railing.

_Something on your mind, Edward?_ My father spoke in his mind.

It was now or never. "Actually I do. Father, I was wondering if any of your colleagues would know of a good rehabilitation center for Bella? The further away from Forks, the better….." I paused for a moment trying to get my emotions in check.

"People are having these thoughts and memories of her, these memories of her drinking and acting wild. As we've seen last night, her drinking has gotten out of hand. I'm worried about her." I finished with, my forehead forming a crease.

"We are all worried about Bella, Edward. But yes I know of a few people that will be willing to help. I shall make a few phone calls now, if you don't mind." He said, getting up off the swing and walking into the house.

I kept picturing what happened between Bella and I last night. Her wanting me, then hating me, then wanting me again. Then this morning, she tells me that she doesn't want to be more then friends, and I had to except that.

I couldn't help but blame myself. When it came to Bella I was always blaming myself. I blamed myself for pulling her into this world, I blamed myself for James and Victoria, I blamed myself for her drinking. I'm always blaming myself.

I felt petite hands land on my shoulder. Esme. "I hate to see you hurting Edward. I know you are blaming yourself and I really wish you wouldn't. It's going to be ok, son. We will get her help." She whispered with a reassuring smile. I patted her hand with my own and pulled her into a hug.

I don't know how long we were embraced like that, but when I saw Carlisle exiting the house finishing up a conversation on the phone, I stepped out of it.

"Thank you again for your help John. No I don't mind you asking? Oh no, it's none of my children, they would never touch al drop of alcohol. No it's fine, I'm not offended, it's a family friend. Yes. Yes. Thank you again for your concern John. Yes I will see you tomorrow." Carlisle chuckled and hung up.

"What did he have to say, darling?" Esme asked, curious.

"Doctor Allan, gave me the name of some very high quality rehab centers. He told me they were the best in the United States. At the top of his list was the _Betty Ford Clinic_. They have locates in California, Texas, and Colorado. Then there's the _Wonderland Treatment Center_ in LA. _Promises Rehab Center_ in LA and Malibu. The last one he mentioned was called _Hazelden Rehab Center_, they have centers in Minnesota, Oregon, New York and Illinois. They are rather costly though Edward." His eyes never leaving my eyes.

"I'll pay. I'll pay anything to help her. I love her." I barely even said the words but I knew they both heard me.

I was trying to look happy, to feel happy, to be happy. The only problem with that though, was the fact that only the best of the best in rehab centers were located in the sun. This meant that I wouldn't be able to visit her, support her, be there for her.

"What's on your mind son?" Carlisle asked out loud this time.

I sighed. "California, Texas, New York? Who will we be able to visit her, when she's be soaking in the sun all day?"

Carlisle was about to answer me, when the phone started to ring. He took a look at the caller ID. "It's from the Swan residence. What to answer?"

I nodded my head yes. I took a deep, unnecessary breath and pushed send. "Hello?" I asked.

"Do you think you can come over?" Bella asked, her voice a mixture of sadness, nervousness and pain.

"Yes, of course. Are you hurt? I'll be right over. Hold on. I'm leaving now!" I said, hanging up and running off the porch.

_Edward?_ Both of my parents questioned in their minds.

"It's Bella. Something's wrong. I have to go!" I said jumping in my car and pushing the gas pedal to the floor.

-:- -:- -:-

I made it to Bella's house in record time. I ran up her stairs at vampire speed, not caring who saw. I busted through the door, trying not to break the door off the hinges. "Bella!? Bella?! Are you ok?!" I asked, searching through the whole house.

I ran into the kitchen, and there she sat in the kitchen chair. "Please stop yelling. I have a headache." She said, looking at the floor.

"Bella, what's wrong? I came as soon as I could." I walked over to her, bending so I was at eye level.

"I'm fine. I jus needed…I just needed a friend. Someone that understood what's going on."

"Understand what?"

"When you dropped me off, Jake was here." She said with a huff. I let her continue. "We got in a fight and he stormed out. Now -she chuckled- now I don't know, he was really upset and I just hate fighting with him that's all." She said, standing up and walking into the living room and plopping down on the couch. I followed behind her.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" I finally asked. I had to know.

"God no Edward, he wouldn't hurt me." I sensed a hint of a lie in that statement, but I didn't push it.

"What was the fight about?" I questioned instead.

"What do you think the fight was about. You and your family. He was mad that I was with you guys, that I lied to him. I wasn't lying though. I was just trying not to start a fight. Which ended up happening anyways. He doesn't want me hanging out with you or Alice anymore."

"What did you say to that? Should I even be here then?" I didn't want to leave, I didn't want her to want me to leave, but if she did I would. I'd do anything she asked.

"I wanted to tell him to fuck off, that I can hang out with whoever I want. The words wouldn't form though. So I insulted the pack and he stormed out. He needs to know that I can be friends with whoever I want. I mean that's what we are…friends." She smiled up at me.

I didn't want to be just friends. I wanted to be lovers, I wanted to be like we used to be. It wasn't going to be happening anytime soon though. I knew how stubborn Bella was. I hurt her and she wasn't going to give up without a fight. She was going to make me hurt as much as I made her hurt all those months I was gone.

"Of course we are friends Isabella. Why wouldn't we be?" I flashed her all my teeth, making it seem like I was ok with this.

"I don't know. I mean, I loved you at one point and I thought you did too, but that day in the woods. The day that you left, it changed everything. I guess it doesn't matter though. I want to be friends with you." Her voice cracked on the last sentence and I feared she might start crying.

"It does matter Bella. It matters to me. That day in the woods, if I could take it back I would. I made a mistake a huge mistake. I've already told you that. I just don't want you to hurt anymore Bella." I reassured her.

"I know Edward. Thank you." She laughed, wiping away the few tears that escaped her eyes.

I was about to discuss the rehab centers, when I heard a car pulling into the drive way. I only could smell a small hint of wolf, so I knew it wasn't Jacob.

_Great one of the Cullens is here. It better not be Edward. Don't think about what Jake said, don't think about what Jake said. It will only make you more mad Charlie._ I heard Charlie say in his mind. What was he talking about?

"Bella, do you know what Jake told Charlie after he left here?" I questioned.

She looked at me confused and then answer, "No. Why?"

"Nothing." I muttered. "Charlie's home. I think Jake told him something. It might get….uncomfortable."

Charlie took his time getting out of the car, took his time walking to the door and waited a couple extra minutes to open the door.

"Bella? Is Alice here?" He asked, pulling his boots off and laying them down next to the door.

"No dad, it's Edward. How was the game?" She shouted.

_Edward… so it's true, Bella did sleep with him! Don't panic Charlie. Where is my gun, I am going to shoot him right in the head if he laid one hand on my little girl_.

What? Jake told Bella's own father, that we have slept together. Was he crazy? Not just Jake, but Charlie too! A gun wound wouldn't be deadly, but rather hard to explain.

I heard Charlie reach for something, then make his way towards the living room.

"What are you doing here Edward?" Charlie looked over at me, and I noticed his gun resting against his leg.

I was literally at a loss of words. I tried listening to his thoughts, but there were none.

"Well, uh sir Bella called me over to talk as a friend that is." I replied, trying to sound sincere.

Still no thoughts.

"I think it's time for you to leave." He said sternly.

"Dad stop, we were just talking. Ok?"

"No Bella. It's not ok. Jake came by and saw me. He told me that you stayed at the Cullens to, well to sleep with Edward. Bella if it's true, I'm calling Renee to come get you tonight!" His face turned purple and I his jugular started frantically beating against his skin.

Bella shot up off the couch, throwing her hands up into the skin. " He said what?!" She shouted, louder then I've ever heard her say anything.

Charlie must have been shocked too, because his face lost some color and his jaw almost hit the floor. I stood up off of the couch, debating if I should go home or go kick Jacob's ass.

"I think I should go, so you two can talk." I said.

"No stay." She whispered, grabbing my hand.

I missed her warmth.

"Bella!" Charlie shouted. Bella dropped my hand.

"Jeez Charlie you are just as bad as Jake. I didn't…well you know with anyone. Edward and I just talked, we're friends, ok, jeez!" Her cheeks turned that brilliant crimson color I've missed.

Charlie looked at Bella, then me, then down at the floor. I heard him trying to figure out what to say in his mind. He was debating between yelling at me more, or apologizing and escaping this before it got more awkward. He opened his mouth, then shut it again.

"Brian called in sick, so I'm going to fill his shift down at the station. I'll be back tomorrow morning." He said that walked upstairs.

Bella plopped back down on the couch., putting her face into her hands.

"That was awkward." I said, sitting down beside her.

"I am so mad right now. Why would Jake say that!? To Charlie of all people, you know how he gets when it comes to that stuff! Jake better not show his face around here, anytime soon or I might just smother him!"

Bella was seething and I couldn't help but smile.

"I really should go though Bella. Esme wants to try this family night, where we all get together to play games. I'm not sure how it's going to work out but it should be pleasurable all the same."

"Play night? Like playing Monopoly, Life, and Go Fish?" She laughed out. I chuckled too.

"I don't think we're playing Go Fish, but yes. It should be interesting watching Emmett and Jasper play." I laughed out. I was picturing those two going at it all night over simple games.

Bella couldn't stop laughing either. She most be picturing it too.

I pulled myself off the couch, Bella following. I turned towards her and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'll see you in school Bella. Be careful, if you need me just call, ok? I love you."

I turned towards the door and walked out to my car, before she could reply.

-:- -:- -:-

**Bella POV**

After Charlie had left for work, I laid on the couch thinking about Edward. I knew it was wrong to be thinking about Edward, when I was with Jake.

However I couldn't shake the three little words that Edward had spoke before he left. Edward saying I love you kept replaying in my mind. I sighed.

I was debating on whether to try to stomach something else or to just give up and go to bed, when I heard a knock on the door.

"I'm coming!" I shouted, sitting up.

Who could that be? I thought to myself. Probably just Alice or Angela or even Jess checking up on me. Just what I needed, another head ache in the making.

When I reached the door, I looked through the window and noticed a russet skin colored bare chest. Jake.

I flung open the door about to yell at Jake, when he cut me off by yanking me into a hug. "I'm so, so sorry Bella." He kept chanting into my hair.

He lifted me so my feet were off the floor and carried me into the kitchen, placing me on the counter. He put both of his hands on my face.

"God Bella I was so stupid. I did something stupid. I told Charlie that you slept with Edward, but I didn't mean to do it I swear. I was just so angry that you lied and that you were with them. Please don't be mad. I am so sorry, forgive me. Bella I need you." His words came out in a rush and I had to focus to hear them.

I reached my hands up to his face, locking my eyes with his.

"Jake you can't stop me from being friends with them. That includes Edward." My words soft, trying to make him understand.

"Bella, guys…vampires- you know what I mean- don't want to be just friends with you. He still loves you, I know he does, he'll try anything to get you back."

I sighed.

"I don't want Edward back, I want you. I'm here with you. " I said, crushing my lips to his. His lips were warm and soft, and everything that I wanted.

"You know my life would suck without you right? I need you Jake, no one else just you." I breathed between kisses.

"I know Bella. I'm sorry for acting like I did. I was just worried. I love you so much." He said between kisses.

Our hands were all over each other, and I knew I should of pulled away. I wanted to do it. I wanted to show him I was over Edward, that I only wanted him. I wanted to prove to myself that I was over Edward.

Finally finding the courage I said, "Jake let's go upstairs."

"Are you sure Bella. I mean are you ready?" I knew he wanted to, I could feel the lusty coming off of him.

"I'm sure." I replied.

Jake picked me up bridal style and carried me upstairs, my heart fluttering in my chest.

**Song Inspired:**

**(I know it's a little out of character for me, but my ipod died the other day in my car so I had to listen to the radio and this song came on and I was like aw it's perfect.)**

**My Life Would Suck Without You**

**-Kelly Clarkson**

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the wait and the mini cliff hanger. Please stick with me, I don't want to put this story on hold, but I feel like I'm not getting where I want to be with this story, so I don't know what to do. Help anyone? Haha. I will try to update again soon, my spring break is almost over, so I will try! Thank you for sticking with me, reviews please?**

**-BB**


	12. Lullaby

**Read Me!**- A/N: Readers I love you, so trust me this is a **JacobxBellaxEdward**story! The one thing I couldn't stand about Bella in New Moon was she took Edward back like nothing happened. I know I know true love and all, but she should have made him earn it! She needed a back bone, so I'm giving her one. So please don't jump ship now. Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me. I only have two weeks left until I graduate from a college that I've worked my ass off at for the last three years. So please. I will update when I can.

Thanks to my beta beaandmarco, you are awesome! I don't twilight, or anything by the Spill Canvas.

* * *

**Bella POV (Monday, Lunch Period)**

"Where did you end up going Friday night, Bella? I was so worried that something happened to you." Angela's worried voice drew me out of my day dreaming.

I looked over at Alice, then Edward.

"Edward came and got me actually." I took my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Oh. Edward you should have stayed a little. The guys needed someone to play beer pong with." Angela said, directing the attention off of me and out to him.

"Maybe next time I will." Edward said, smiling back at Angela.

Angela nibbled on her food, and turned her attention back to me. She opened her mouth to continue our conversation when Tyler lifted his head in my direction.

"Oh Bella I forgot to tell you, Jared wanted me to give you his number." Tyler said joining the conversation.

"Who's Jared?" I stuttered out, embarrassed. It was the part of drinking I hated. Never remembering anything.

"Scott's friend, the one that you 'danced' for. Yeah he gave me his digits if you want them?" He laughed out. My blush growing deeper.

"No it's ok."

"So what did you end up doing the rest of the weekend Bella? Sleep over with Alice?" Angela asked, trying to save me.

I looked between Alice and Edward again. "No. Charlie had to work all weekend so I just hung out with Jake. We just did homework and watched old movies and stuff..." I trailed off, my voice shaky.

I didn't want to make Edward uncomfortable.

Jessica's head turned in my direction. She must have mistaken my guilt for lying.

"So you spent all weekend alone with Jake, huh? Did you two have sex yet?" She asked bluntly. That got everyone's attention. I started to sweat as I felt nine pairs of eyes turn to me. I felt my whole body burn with a blush.

"Jess! No I mean…we haven't…no we aren't like that at all. I mean we've only been dating for a couple months." I managed to stammer out. I could read her face. She thought I  
was lying. They all thought I was lying.

I glanced up at Alice's face, she was smiling too because she was dying to know.

"Calm down Bella, sex isn't that big of deal sheesh!" She muttered.

I looked down at the table, trying to collect myself before I could look at Edward. When I finally found the courage to look at him, he was gone. I looked over at Alice who just shrugged. I had to get out of here, so I picked up my tray and stood.

Lying I said, "I forgot a book out in my truck. I have to run out and get it before class. I'll see you guys later." I dumped my tray and started to exit the cafeteria, walking down the hall towards the bathroom. I swung open the door, checked under all the stalls making sure they were all empty. When I noticed they all were, I walked over to the sinks and took a look in the mirror.

"Who am I?" I asked to my reflection.

"You are Isabella Swan. And right now you need to spill." I heard Alice say behind me. I didn't hear her come in, but she was a vampire and could do almost anything without me knowing about it.

"Spill what?" I said, not taking my eyes off of the mirror.

"You and Black. Bella you know I couldn't see you this weekend, and you were acting rather weird in there. Don't worry I won't tell Edward anything. Our little secret."

Secret? The Cullens had no secrets, I knew that. Plus Edward's a mind reader, I doubt Alice could go for the rest of eternity not thinking about my sex life, or lack there of.

"Well, I…well we. It's really embarrassing." I tried to explain, my blush growing deeper.

"Come on Bella, it's just sex. If you want I can tell you about my first time with Jasper?"

"NO! Jeez Alice, nothing happened ok?"

"Nothing happened, huh? Why are you bright red then?" She said smirking. I sighed and slipped down on the floor. Alice slide down right next to me.

"We were going to. I mean, er, after Edward left, Jake showed up apologizing and I just wanted to show him, that I chose him. He carried me upstairs to my room, we were home  
alone. We were kissing and our hands were all over each other…" I felt the heat crawling up my face again. I closed my eyes, remembering what happened.

"I wanted to, I wanted to have sex with Jake but I couldn't. He was on top of me, breathing on me and it was so freakin hot. I was sweating so much it was embarrassing. He offered to open the window but I shouted at him not to touch the window. I was afraid that Edward would come in." I glanced up at Alice, who nodded at me to continue.

"It felt wrong too. I knew my first time should have been…" I stopped myself before I even said his name. I glanced back up at Alice. She was trying to hide her smile; she knew who I  
was going to say.

"I told him, that I couldn't do it with him. He said he'd wait, he didn't mind waiting for me, he knew my heart isn't completely his." I started to sniffle.

"All in all, we didn't do it. I, Isabella Swan am a tease and a virgin." Alice pulled me into a hug.

"Oh, Bella. I'm so happy you didn't sleep with that dog! You can't be a tease and a virgin! Don't worry you'll know when the time is right, even if it isn't with my brother. Speaking of the future. Have you filled out any college applications yet?" Alice asked raising her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

"I haven't had time, Alice. Why? Did you have a vision about me?" Did she see where I get accepted? Maybe she could tell me where to freakin' apply to.

"Bella! You know they have to know where you go by the end of March. How else are they going to print it in the graduation announcements? Why don't you ask Edward for help, we can all get together after school? We really need to send them out." She said, brushing past me and walking out the door.

What an odd pixie.

I splashed some cold water on my face, right when the bell rang. I picked my books up on the floor and hustled down the hall. I quickly walked in class, watching as Edward averted his eyes away from me. Great, he thought I slept with Jacob too. I thought out of everyone in this school, Edward would be the one mostly likely to believe me. Looks like I was wrong.

I took two deep breaths, and walked over to our desk. I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't do that, that when I tried to it felt wrong. I wanted to tell him that no matter how pissed off I wanted to be with him, I couldn't be. I wanted to stop thinking about him, but I couldn't. I wanted to slap him and tell him good riddance at the same that I wanted to pull him into the most passionate kiss. All these things I wanted though, I couldn't have. It wouldn't be fair to Jake, if I ran back into Edward's arms after hating him for the months that he left me. I had to hate Edward as a lover, and love him as a friend.

"Hey." I said, sliding into my chair. Edward just nodded his head, and muttered a "Hello," back to me. I can't believe Edward honestly believed that I slept with Jacob! Just thinking about it, made my blood boil. I was about to say something when the teacher walked in starting class.

Class flew by without so much as a word uttered and before I knew it, the day was gone. I had to talk to Edward; I had to make him see. I saw him heading for the parking lot and I knew it was my last chance.

I passed by all my friends, briskly walking down the hall after him. I had to run to catch up to Alice and Edward at her Porsche. She had to see me coming, because while Edward  
was climbing into the car, Alice was standing on the driver's side.

"Edward we need to talk." I sternly said, grabbing for his arm.

_Look at me._ I willed him to do with my mind. He didn't though. I wanted him to see that I could never do that to him.

He pulled his arm out of my grasp and glanced up into my eyes.

"You don't have to elucidate anything Bella. You did exactly what I wanted you to do. You found someone else, don't get me wrong I'd prefer anyone but a mutt, but you moved on. So congratulations."

I stood back shocked as Edward crawled into the car. I've never heard him sound so bitter towards me. Even in the woods, he sounded angry, sad, pained to be doing it, but not bittter.

"Wait!" I shouted, jumping into the back seat, slamming the door. Edward turned around, murder in his eyes.

"Jake and I didn't have sex, ok?! Not that it's any of your business but we didn't! He wanted to and I said no, I said that I wasn't ready! I wasn't thinking clearly, I wasn't…. ready." My chest was heaving and my cheeks felt burning scorching.

My eyes fell to my feet then back up to Edward face. He was shocked, speechless, his jaw was slack.

"Well that's, hm, well that's good to know. You're right it is none of my business what you do in your free time. Is there anything else, you'd like to discuss?" He stuttered out.

I shook my head no, and pushed open the door sliding out. I stood by the car for a few seconds then tapped on his window.

"Want to come over and fill out college applications tonight? Charlie's going to be down at the station and I don't really want to be alone."

"Ok. We will be there at six, if that's not too early?" Alice leaned across the seat, poking her head into view.

"Charlie's going to try to make dinner for you, he'll burn it, so we'll swing by and get a pizza. See you at six!" She stuck her head back in and speed off.

**-:- -:- -:-**

"Is Jake coming over tonight, Bells?" Charlie asked, lacing up his boots in the doorway.

"No. Alice and Edward are. We are going to work on college applications." I shouted from the kitchen poking at my 'dinner'. Just like Alice predicted, Charlie attempted to make spaghetti for dinner. It turned out to be a burnt lump of pasta, hidden under lukewarm tomato sauce. I poked at it, and pushed it around my plate to make it look like I was eating it. My stomach was growling for being so hungry, and I could barely hold out for that pizza anymore.

"Oh. Edward's coming too? Does Jake know?" I could hear the resentment in his voice. He still hated Edward, and just mentioning his name, changed my dad's mood. Sad but true, it irritated me beyond belief that he hated Edward so much. If anyone has a right to hate him, it was me, I should hate him, but I don't. I can't, I can't hate someone that I love so  
much still.

"Dad, I already talked to Jake about it, he said he was fine with Edward and I being friends. Just friends. I'm not going to stop hanging out with the Cullens, because I dated Edward and it didn't…work out." I poked my spaghetti bulge again, trying to center my anger somewhere else.

"Just stay out of it anyways." I mumbled to myself. I heard Charlie's boots hitting the floor, walking towards the kitchen.

"I know Bells, I just….I just want you to be happy kid. No matter whom it's with." He stopped, placing his hands on the back of the chair opposite of mine.

"I should get down to the station. I'll be down there all night, call me if you need anything." He turned his back and walked through the threshold.

"Tell Alice…and Edward I said hello. Stay outta trouble!" Then he slammed the door.

I jumped out of my chair, pushing it back into the table. I walked over to the trash, scrapping my plate off. Alice and Edward should be here soon, but I had to keep myself  
busy or the nervous would drive me crazy. First I cleaned off the table, and wiped it down. I figured we'd probably work on them in here. Then I realized  
that it would probably be a lot of awkward silence, so I shifted to the living room, where there was a T.V. and Charlie's new sound system.

Maybe they wouldn't want to watch T.V., but I'm sure Edward would want to listen to music. So I cleaned off the table that sits in the middle of the room, fluffed the pillows, folded the blanket and put it on the back of the couch. I was just about to get out the vacuum when I heard a knock on the door.

I looked out the window, to see Edward's Volvo. My heart started to beat fast. I ran over to the door, managing to not trip on the rug. When I flung open the door, I was expecting to see Alice standing in the front, making it less awkward. Instead it was Edward in all his glory. He changed his clothes since school. He was wearing a sky blue button up, with black jeans. He had an unnecessary light grey pea coat. The porch light throw off a glow that made it look like a halo over his muddled hair.

In his hand was one large pizza box, with 'extra cheese' scribbled across it. Under his arm peeked out a manila envelope, with I'm assuming college applications. That's when I noticed that he was alone. "Where's Alice?" I asked, stepping aside and letting him in.

He placed the pizza on the table and tossed the envelope on the couch. I walked into the kitchen grabbing a plate out of the counter.

"She had a vision about Jasper and Emmett's hunting trip, so she decided to go. I'm hoping that's ok. She had a vision about us still getting together tonight, so she printed out some applications."

Sure, she did. I knew Alice and I knew she set this up, that she had this in mind. What a little annoying pixie!

"Are you really going back to college?" I inquired, flipping open the pizza box.

"I decided to take some time off of high school." He chuckled.

I pulled a slice apart and placed it on the plate, flopping down on the floor next to Edward. We sat Indian- style, in awkward silence.

"Want me to put a CD in or something?"

"If you'd like."

I quickly stood up and jogged upstairs, pulling out a random CD. I noticed it was an old mixed CD. Sure why not? I quickly jogged back downstairs and popped it in. As the first song started, Edward didn't protest so I sat back down.

I started nibbling on the pizza, trying to give myself something to do. I ate three whole pieced, when my stomach disputed for me to stop. I scooped up the box and my empty plate and  
shoved them onto the kitchen table, figuring I'd just clean them up later.

"Shall we get started?" I probed, sliding back down to the floor.

Edward already had the applications out and in neat piles.

"One for you and one for me. Alice was blocking her thoughts when she left, so I'm assuming she saw where we would get expected. She already sent hers into the college where she gets accepted."

I shuffled through my pile. Penn State Main Campus, Albright, University of Washington, Yale, even Dartmouth. I snorted. Did Alice really see me getting accepted to these schools! I became overwhelmed with emotions. All but one of these school where located on the East Coast, and they were all very expensive. There was no way Charlie and I could afford any of these.

"What's in your pile?" I looked over at Edward shuffling through his pile also.

"Dartmouth Medical School, Julliard for Music, Ithaca for Health Promotion and Physical Education, and then University of Washington, for Medical. What'd she give you?" He glanced over into my pile.

"Penn State Main, Albright, Yale, Dartmouth, and the University of Washington all for English. How'd she know that I wanted to go for English I was still up in the air?" I felt a smile play on my lips, of course Alice knew.

"Alice knows all." He chuckled.

"It seems she wants to keep you on the East Coast. I wonder where Alice is going. I'm sure she'll go, where you go." Another chuckle.

Alice would go where I go, she almost lost me as a friend and I knew she wouldn't do it again. The East Coast though? Could I leave Charlie alone? Could I leave Jacob alone? I doubted. He was my sun, my light, my everything.

"I thought the East Coast was sunny though? She'd have to stay inside all day, only take night classes." Edward just shrugged his shoulders and started to write away.

I didn't know where to get started. Where did I really want to go? I would love to go to Yale or Dartmouth or even Penn State Main, but how would I pay for it? How could I leave Forks, how could I leave Charlie and Jacob? I was so lost in thought that I didn't even feel Edward nudging me with his shoulder.

"What's on your mind, love?" He whispered into my ear.

"Just thinking. I can't believe I'm filling out college applications. The thought of just being accepted into all these high level schools, it's just…overwhelming." I felt Edward's hand  
slip into mine. He didn't lace our fingers, like I wanted him to. A wave of guilt hit me.

"Take a deep breath. It's going to be ok. No need to get stressed out, you're already practically in, or Alice wouldn't have sent these applications over. Want me to rub your shoulders, while you fill them out?" I knew Edward meant it as a friendly gesture, but I also knew it meant more to him. I didn't want to lead Edward along, but it knew it would help me unwind and  
focus on these applications... I nodded my head yes. I slide further under the table, so Edward could sit on the couch and reach my shoulders. The slight pressure on my shoulder felt enjoyable, and before I knew it, I was staring at a pile of completed applications.

"I'm done, you can stop if you'd like." I sighed, not wanting it to stop.

"No its fine. I want to keep going." He deepened the pressure ever so slightly, making me moan in satisfaction.

"Bella, I should apologize for earlier. For assuming that you and Jacob had…have a sexual relationship. It is none of my business. I said I'd be here as a friend, and I will be here as  
a friend. I just want you to know that I love you very much Isabella. I made a stupid mistake when I left, but I guess this is my karma. Now I have to stand by and watch the only love of my life, love someone else." His voice drifted off, and his hand stopped moving.

I turned so I was face to face with Edward. His eyes darted away, so I wouldn't see the pain. I got up to my knees, pulling Edward into a hug. I knew I'd have bruises in the morning, but it didn't matter. I didn't want Edward to hurt, over me. I didn't want Jacob to hurt, I didn't want Charlie to hurt.

What about me though?! How come they were allowed to let me hurt? I felt tears pricking at my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." I just kept chanting over and over again. I didn't know if I was soothing him or myself, but it didn't matter. I was here and Edward was here and I felt like in the first time in months we were connecting again. I felt like I had Edward back, even if it was only on a friendship level.

"No Bella I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put all that on you. I know you want me as a friend. So come on. Friends don't let friends cry over old boyfriends, right?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I looked up at Edward as he wiped the tears away.

"Yeah I guess, not. But friends help friends clean up." I debating placing a kiss on his cheek, I didn't know if I was pushing it or not. But I did it anyways. I placed a soft kiss on both of cheeks.

**-:- -:- -:-**

Edward gently placed the applications back into envelope before sliding them back onto the table.

"Are you sure you don't mind me staying a little bit longer?" He asked, following me upstairs.

"Charlie isn't going to be home until tomorrow morning. Please just stay until I fall asleep? Maybe you can hum to me, like old times?" I questioned, grabbing my Pjs off of the bed.

"If you'd like." He slide onto the bed as I turned on my heels and walked down the hall to the bathroom. I changed swiftly, but took my time brushing my teeth and hair and washing my face.

"Remember you two are just friends again. You are with Jake now. You _love _Jake now." I had to keep reciting in my head.

When I reached the threshold to my bedroom, I took a deep breath. Why was I so nervous? I knew why as soon as I walked into my room. Edward was lounging on  
my bed, his shoes lying on the floor, the top button on his shirt, undone.

"Ready for bed, human?" He asked with a grin on his face. I nodded my head and leaped into bed. I pulled my bedspread up to my abdomen, and turned towards Edward.

"Do you think you know where you're going to go to college? Wait I don't want to know." I didn't want Edward's decision for a college to waver my decision.

He chuckled. "I don't know. I'll go where my family goes, you know that." He bent down slightly, tweaking my nose.

"Even if they go where you go. You are part of my family after all."

When he said that, I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach. I remember when I wanted to be a part of his family, as his lover, as his wife, as his equal. That was never going to happen, ever.

"Thank you Edward for staying. You can leave after I fall asleep." I tried using my words, to hide my yawn.

It didn't work.

Edward wrapped me up in a hug, placing a soft, chilled kiss on my forehead.

I listened to his soft sweet voice as he started to sing.

_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous.  
It's your ability to make me earn this.  
I know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep.  
It's about how you laugh out of pity,  
'Cause lets be honest I'm not really that funny.  
I know that you're shot, just let me sing you to sleep._

_If you need anything, just say the word.  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces close._

_It's those pills that you don't need to take,  
medicating perfection, now that's a mistake.  
I know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep.  
It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it.  
It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded.  
I know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep._

_If you need anything, just say the word.  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces close._

_While you were sleeping I figured out everything,  
I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me.  
Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins.  
You shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame._

_If you need anything, just say the word.  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces..._

_If you need anything, just say the word.  
I mean anything.  
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,  
Plant my lips where your necklaces close._

Something tells me he didn't leave as I drifted into dreamland.

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**Read Me!-** A/N: So how cute was that? I think its pretty easy to guess where both of them are going to college. The story is going to start to progress pretty quickly now. College, Prom, a visit from a very sneaky vampire, and of course a love triangle. Please review, I love hear from you guys! Oh and check out my new story "Breaking The Cycle"

Thank you. Much Love

-BB


	13. The Space Between

**Chapter 16: The Space Between**

**A/N: Snaps to my beta beaandmarco, she is beyond awesome. I don't own twilight or this Valencia song, even though I hung out with Valencia once and they are pretty classy gentlemen.

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**Bella POV (Three Weeks Later)**

"Bella two big envelopes came for you in the mail!" Charlie bellowed up the stairs to me.

I wasn't expecting anything for Renee, but lately she's been on this gift buying kick, sending me scrape book things, colored pencils, colored pictures of her and Phil in Florida. Whatever she was into at the time, was going to be in the mail sent to me in a few days.

"Ok Dad, I'll be down in five minutes!" I shouted back down.

I quickly finished getting dress, brushed my hair and grabbed my back pack and ran downstairs. I walked into the kitchen, to Charlie sitting in the chair drinking his coffee.

"Mails on the stove." He said into his coffee cup.

I trotted over to the mail, leafing through it. My fingers stopped on two large, bulging envelopes. The first one was from Penn State Main Campus and the second one was from Albright. Both campus are located in Pennsylvania, meaning that if the Cullens would go there too, they'd have to take night classes for a large sum of the year.

I know that the Cullens have been to college numerous times, yet knowing that their college choices depended on me, unraveled my nerves.

Is one of these the colleges Alice is going to? Better yet is one of these colleges Edward is going to go to? When we filled out the applications a couple of weeks ago I didn't want to know, but now I had to know. The thought of maybe being thousands of miles away from him, yet knowing where he is made a huge hole open up in my chest.

Frustrated with myself for thinking about Edward that way, I tore open the first envelope with much hast. I let the papers slip out and into my welcoming hands. My eyes quickly scanned the letter. I opened the next one, knowing it would say the same thing. It still felt good to read it anyways.

"So what's the verdict, should I take out a second mortgage?" Charlie said, trying to sound nonchalant.

I rolled my eyes. "Dad I'm sure there's better ways to pay for college, since you know... I got in!" I jumped up and down for show.

Charlie stood so fast from his chair; it tipped over and hit the floor.

"Really?! Oh Bells I'm so proud of you! I didn't even know you were looking into out of state schools. That is pretty far away you know."

Yes I did know they were 'pretty far away'. There are a forty three and a half hour road trip 'pretty far away'. There are a two thousand eight hundred and three miles 'pretty far away.' They are an one hundred and thirty five dollars and eighty two cents worth of gas 'pretty far away'.

A wave of guilt hit me. Yes I was excited, but now that Charlie mentioned it I would be rather not be far away from him, away from Jake. Another wave of guilt hit me. I was so excited about being to go to college with the Cullens that I forgot all about my own boyfriend.

My face dropped, "I don't think I'm going to go out of state. I applied to the University of Washington; if I get in I'll probably just go there." I turned my back, shoving the letters back into the envelopes with more force that I wanted, tearing the envelope down the middle.

"Bella does this have to do with Jake? Don't chose your school based on Jake, or even me. We can survive without you. Don't stay in Washington, because you want to be with Jake. He can still love you from two thousand miles away."

It was a rare occasion where Charlie showed so much emotion, and I started to feel tears pricking at my eyes.

"You're right Dad. I shouldn't make this about a boy." _We all saw how that ended last time._ I added in my mind.

"Listen Bells, I have to get down to the station, how about we go out tonight to celebrate?"

"Sure Dad, that would be great." I smiled up at him.

"I'm so proud of you Bells!" He said with such pride in his eyes.

After Charlie left, I poured and ate a bowl of cereal, then traveled upstairs to finish getting ready. When there was only twenty minutes left until class started, I ran down to the truck and headed off to school.

The day passed uneventful, Edward wasn't in our morning classes, so I couldn't ask him if he too received acceptance letters. When lunch rolled around I waited for him at his lunch, but he was once again a no show.

Giving up I threw my things in my locker and walked to the cafeteria. I hustled through the line, only grabbing a bottle of water and an apple. After paying I took my time walking down to our usual table, so I wouldn't fall.

I slipped into the seat next to Alice.

"Hey Alice, do you know where Edward is today?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Yep." She said, popping the p.

"I told Jasper that we are going to prom again this year, so I made him go to Seattle to get a tux. He practically begged Edward to go with him."

_Prom._ Prom was next month. Jake mentioned something to me last week, but I just blew it off. He told me, he really wanted to go. He thought I shouldn't be giving up moments like this. 'Normal' teenager moments, he called them.

Going to prom with a werewolf, and hanging out with my vampire friends all night doesn't sound normal to me.

"Ugh, prom shopping. I haven't even gotten a dress yet. Are you going again this year?" Angela turned her attention to me.

"I guess. Jake wants to go, so I figured why not." I shrugged my shoulders.

"We should go prom dress shopping tonight!" Alice started bouncing up and down in her chair.

"Ok-"

"Can't have to baby sit." Angela and I said at the same time.

Alice's face dropped. "Oh, ok. Maybe another time."

"No, no it's fine. You two go. We can go another time." She smiled.

"I'm game. Seattle, tonight?" I asked.

Alice closed her eyes as if she was thinking for a moment but I knew the truth. She was seeing what our future held.

"Um sure, yeah Seattle. I'll call Jasper; tell him not to leave until we get out of school. Maybe we could all just go up together?" She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow, as if she was asking me if that was ok.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Yeah that's fine." I bite into my apple trying to hide my excitement. Why should it matter what Edward does. I don't care.

"Is Edward going to prom this year?"

"I think. I'm not really sure its definite though."

"Does he have a date yet? Because I'd love to go with him." I heard someone to the left of me say. Jessica.

I felt my heart start to beat harder in my chest. Did Edward have a date, I doubted.

"I think he does actually. He asked an old friend of ours from Alaska to go with him, sorry Jess." Alice turned back to me rolling her eyes.

Tanya. She must be talking about Tanya. Did Edward finally give into her? Was she the one that he was going to spend the rest of eternity with? When I was dead and gone, was she going to be in his arms?

The ringing bell drew me out of my thoughts. My stupid, foolish thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. I quickly gathered up my trash and headed towards the door. I felt Alice's tiny, cold arms link with mine.

"We're going to all drive up together. Are you sure you're ok with this?' Alice whispered, low and close to my ear.

I stopped, causing Alice to stop. "Yes Alice I'm fine I promise!" I tried reassuring her.

"Ok. Well then. We will drop your clunker off at your house, then swing by the police station to tell Charlie. We'll stop and pick up the boys. It's about a four hour drive, but I bet we make it in two. Come on two hundred bucks say we make it."

I couldn't help but chuckle. The little future teller wanted to makes bets.

"No way am I betting against you Alice. I'll see you at my house after class."

The day went slow, without Edward there to talk to, but I managed to make it through. After class was over, I tossed my books in my locker and jogged out to my car. I had to call Jake and let him know what I was doing. Not that he is possessive or anything, just out of curtsy.

"Hey Bells, what's up?" Jake's groggy voice said on the other line. He must have been up all night on patrol again.

"Another late night on patrol?" I questioned.

"No, no. Celebration among the brothers. We had another imprint last night. It seems our legends are more alive they we thought." His voice went from sounding happy to worried or scared.

My heart started to beat out of my chest. What if Jake imprinted? What would I do?

"Jake.." I started. "What if you imprint, what would happen to me?"

"Oh Bella, I doubt we all are going to imprint. Plus I love you _too_ much to imprint. My heart loves you too much to ever love anyways ones." His voice was soothing, but doing nothing for my nerves. I needed to change the subject before the hole in my heart started to rip open.

"You'll never guess what I'm about to do?"

His husky voice started to laugh, "Hm? There's so many things that are so non-Bella, so I don't know. What are you about to do?"

"Ok, don't laugh. But I'm going prom dress shopping."

Silence.

"Who are you going to prom with?" He questioned. He could be such a dork.

"Oh just this boy. Short dark hair, russet skin, can turn into a big giant puff ball in two seconds flat. Ring any bells?"

"Ouch Bella, I'm hurt. Why would you ask Paul to prom?" His voice come out jokingly.

"Wrong wolf." I snickered out.

"So who are you going prom dress shopping with anyways?"

The question I was dreading. I waited a few minutes before answering.

"Alice Cullen." I whispered, knowing he could hear me.

I heard Jake's deep intake of air.

"Bellaaaaa." He groaned out.

"Jake we talked about this, they are my friends. They're going to prom too, so you better get used to the idea of being around them all night." The words came out harsher then I wanted them to.

"I'm not going to argue with you. Whatever makes you happy. I think I'm going to head back to bed, I'm tired." A yawn interrupting that statement.

"Ok I love you. Go back to bed."

"Love you too. Have fun with…the Cullens."

Shortly after I hung up, I was sitting in my drive way. A quick trip into the house to drop off my back pack and grab money and I was sliding into Alice's car. A brief stop at the police station to tell Charlie we were going out and then a quick stop at the Cullens to pick up the boys and we were on our way.

I was worried about it being awkward sitting in the back, but Jasper was a gentlemen and let me sit up front. Just as Alice predicted we made it to Seattle in under two hours.

Alice parked in an underground parking lot, paying the valet two hundred dollars to make sure the car is parked near the front, away from other cars. 'Lots of bags' she tried to tell me.

"Ok. So you two can go find a tuxes, Bella and I are going to find a prom dress." Alice said, pushing Jasper's chest. I was happy to be away from them.

We strolled down the streets, wandering in and out of bridal shops not really finding anything. I was about to give up when Alice dragged me to the last shop.

We stopped in front of a one store shop front with glass windows. A sign hung above the door, reading _Benitas Bridal Shop_ in elegant letters.

"I don't know Alice, it seems kind of…expensive." I gestured to the chic wedding dress in the shop window.

"Oh come on Bella! The boys won't be done with their tux fittings for forty two more minutes. Pleeeassee" she whined.

"Fine, fine. This is the last one though." I opened the door letting her go in first.

"Can I ask you a question, even though I'm sure you already know what I'm going to ask." I asked, looking on the racks of dresses.

"I don't know if Edward has a date yet. Tanya keeps hinting that she wants to go to a prom, but I don't know if they actually will. I basically just said it to keep Jess from asking Edward."

"Oh, ok." I said turning around to look at Alice. Draped over her arms she had a stack of dresses. Tons of different dresses. Pink, black, green, long, short, strapless, backless dresses.

"Jeez Alice have enough dresses to try on. I can't seem to find one I like."

Alice's melodic voice sung out in laughter. "These are for you silly. Now scoot your little butt to the dress room and try them on."

She all but shoved me into the dressing room, carefully handing me the dresses over the door. The first one I tried on was a strapless, fuchsia heart shaped neckline, with a pleated chiffon black skirt. It was a little tight in the hip area and not tight enough in the breast.

"Come on Bella I want to see!" Alice shouted out from the waiting area.

I shoved open the door, walking out and twirling in front of the window.

"I don't think its right. Go on to the next one."

I walked back into the fitting room, reaching for the next dress then following the next routine.

A short hunter green strapless cocktail dress with an empire waist. 'Wasn't right.'

An A line ball gown that was the color of egg plant. 'Wasn't right.'

A white ball gown, with 'caught up' fabric and tiny jewels encrusted al throughout the skirt. 'Wasn't right.'

I was about to give up all hope when I heard Alice's squeal on the other side of the door.

"Bella! Bella I found it. I found 'the one' trust me! Close your eyes I'm coming in!"

I heard the door squeak open and Alice's cold body press up against my half naked body.

"Life your foot- now the other." As I felt chilled fabric against my skin. Without making a single noise I knew Alice had the zipper up in the back. I felt my hair move slightly, as if being put up in bobby pins.

"Ok open up!" Alice screeched out, jumping up and down.

I cracked one eye open then the next. The girl in the reflect couldn't be me.

Wavy brown hair was piled on the top of her head, with a few whisps hanging down to frame her face. Her cheeks were lightly colored pink, along with her slender neck and bare shoulders. Clinging tightly to her shoulders was a blue, beaded halter top.

My eyes traveled further down. The halter top flowed smoothly into a beaded, green bodice and a ruched band at the waist line. The full ball gown skirt was soft tulle blue fabric laced with the same green as the bodice. (picture on profile)

She was beautiful, she was graceful, she was… crying.

"You are picturesque Bella. This is the one! Everyone is going to be so envious!"

This was the one, I loved this dress. I could see myself being in this dress and having a good time.

I reached behind me looking for the price tag.

Four hundred and fifty dollars!

"Too bad its two hundred dollars out of my price range. Alice I could never afford this!"

Alice reached up, playfully slapping me across the face.

"If you put your two hundred and fifty dollars down, I'll pay for the rest. See it as a way to make up for all the shopping I missed the last six months."

I couldn't argue with that, I knew it was a moot point.

"Ok, ok you win. Now get me out of this, before the boys come in."

I ushered her out, quickly changed into my street clothes and carefully carried the dress out. I was greeted by Alice, Jasper and Edward.

"So is that the one?" Jasper asked, feeling the awkwardness in the room.

"Um, yeah this is the one. Did you pick one Alice?"

I noticed her hands were empty.

"Oh. Silly me I forgot I ordered one online from some French Boutique. Come on let's go pay for this baby!" She said grabbing my dress in one hand, and Jasper's arm with the other, leaving me to walk along side Edward.

"Oh and the best part is that it fits you perfectly, no alterations so we can take it home today! You guys should see it, perfect fit. Fits like a glove!"

"I'm sure you'll look breath taking." Edward leaned in and whispered in my ear. His cool breath tickled my ears, sending jolts of electricity down my spine.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat and my heart beat speed up.

"Did you get a tux?" I asked dumbly.

His lips pulled into that crocked smile I loved so much. "Yeah I did. Now if I could just get a date, I'll be set."

"I, um, I'm just need some air. I'll be outside." I quickly turned on my heels and darted out of the store.

The cool air felt good on my clammy skin and I leaned against the chilly brick building to keep my knees from giving out.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in there." Edward said when we were in the car heading home. I don't know why he was whispering, Alice and Jasper could hear him.

The rest of the car ride was filled with silence, and I couldn't even form words until we were idled in my drive way.

"Thanks for the dress Alice, it's simply beautiful. Jasper I will see you another time. Edward I guess I will see you tomorrow in school."

As careful as possible I stepped out of the car without stepping on my dress. When I got into the house, Charlie was already upstairs asleep, so I quietly climbed the stairs and slipped into my room.

As I laid in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling unable to sleep, I thought back to last years prom. This year was going to be different, this year was going to be…poles apart. This year I wasn't going to be the girl on Edward Cullen's arm.

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**READ ME!- A/N: So long time no see, sorry finals/graduation/job interviews/Phillies game last night (Which they lost boo) equals me not pumping chapters out, sorry! So favor please, I haven't been at a prom in three years, but I remember dancing. So I started a list of 'The Top D****ance Songs of 09' off of a bunch of prom sites but if you guys could include your favorite slow or fast dance songs in your review that would be awesome. Specially slow songs, romantic songs . Oh I have the picture of Bella's dress on my profile it is GORGEOUS, I wish I was back in high school so I could get it, check it out. **

**-BB88**


	14. Stay Beautiful Part I

**Chapter 14- Stay Beautiful Part I**

**READ ME--Quick Note: I don't own twilight or the Taylor Swift song (its in part II but I'm saying it here). Check out my photobucket, so you can see all the prom stuff. The only difference is the color of Bella's dress. http://s1019[dot]photobucket[dot]com/albums/af320/baysidebird88_ff/Miserable%20at%20-Best-Prom/**

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******BPOV (Prom Day/Night)**

"I was thinking more of an up-do Alice, some loose coils, pinned up. Bella, how do you feel about bangs?" Rose asked, turning her attention from Alice to myself.

"Um I guess I'm ok with them. I mean, it's just hair it will grow back." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Ok, good. So I'll just snip a little off the front to give you some bangs. Side bangs, can be a girl's best friend. We can part them to the side, they will fall softly across your forehead to the left, and a couple wisp on the right. "

Rose lifted her hands, to my faintly damp hair and ran her fingers width length, "We can braid a French braid here, and it will be beautiful."

It was one of the few compliments I realized from Rosalie, so I took it with a grain of salt. I was actually surprised that she showed up today with Alice.

When they showed up at my front door, to help me get ready for prom, Alice was carrying our prom dresses and wearing one of Jasper's button ups and black skinny jeans.

Her hair had medium length extensions in to add a little length, the natural and fake hair having loose waves framing her face. There were tiny silver bobby pins with stars made of real diamonds, strategically placed throughout the curls, making her look even more magical.

Her face had minimal make up, just a tiny bit of eye makeup, blush (to make her look more 'lively' I'm sure) and pink lipstick.

Her perfectly manicured toe nails, wiggled in her flip flops, and a very sinister red winking back at me. I noticed her finger nails matched.

In her ears, hung dangling silver earings, with a square black onyx stone, nestled in the middle of a circle of diamonds. A tiny silver necklace clung to her petite neck, a lock shape charm, shining against her pale skin. Her very expensive and large diamond ring weighed down her left ring finger. I wondered if she was wearing it to prom or simple forgot about it.

Rosalie was just as beautiful in her 'casual clothes'. Her hair was pulled back into a sloppy pony tail (so unlike Rosalie) and she was wearing a white silk blouse, a matching scarf wrapped around her neck, tucked into a pair of cuffed stripped shorts, her branded six inch heels strapped to her feet.

She had a matching necklace to Alice's, just on a much longer chain, and an equally expensive ring on her finger.

She was effortlessly weighed down with clear bags full of hair accessories and products, makeup, nail polish and who knows what else to make this night, 'like totally unforgettable.'

She gave me a small, shy smile and sort of faded into the back ground as Alice orders me to shower, while throwing products in my face.

Shampoo and conditioners that cost hundreds of dollars, body wash with real crushed gold flakes, the richest shaving cream that was mixed with imported rose water from France.

When I stepped out of the shower, a big fluffy white robe was sitting on the sink, two matching towels beside them, undergarments placed on top.

I reached for the towel and, noticing they were still warm, wrapped one around my body and one around my hair. After I was fully dried off, I slipped into the embarrassing blue thong and strapless bra combo, blushing at myself in the mirror. I swiftly yanked on the robe and made my way down the hall.

In my bedroom Alice and Rose converted my room into a mini salon, given what they were working with. I was tugged over to a chair, where Alice spread a thick greenish goop on my face.

"Ok head back, Rose will brush your hair; this mask needs to sit for fifteen minutes."

So I did as I was told like the good Bella Barbie that I was. While I felt tiny tugs on my head, my mind started to wander to Jake. What was he doing right now? Getting ready for prom? Running patrol with the pack? Sleeping, since he's seriously lacking in that department?

And Edward, what was he doing? Helping Tanya get ready? I actually didn't know if Tanya was his date, but I was guessing that she was. He probably looked stunning in his tux. Let's face it, Edward could wear advantageously placed dirt and grass clumps and streaked mud and he'd look like a Greek God.

Luckily my mind didn't walk too far down that path before Alice was wiping off my face. The mask made my face smooth, and tight. I looked into the mirror and noticed a glowing, fresh face.

I wanted to look perfect for Jake; tonight was going to be the night. The night that I gave my whole self to him, to show him that he was mine and I was his. He didn't have to worry about Edward. Edward was my past, but Jake he was my future.

I was so lost in thought, that I wasn't even paying attention to Alice and Rose, until I was asked about bangs.

As Rose was trying to explain my hair style, I leaned my head forward so she could point it all out. I kept my head forward, as Rose cut my hair, creating bangs.

I closed my eyes as the two beauty queens, worked at moderate pace, curling my hair, pinning it up in what felt like a million brown bobby pins and finally taking the left over section of hair, casing a French bread to form in the middle.

From a tiny pink make up bag, Alice pulled out black eye liner, black mascara, an eye lash curler, bronzers, blushes and giant color wheel of eye shadows in the green and blue variety.

She was applying the eye makeup, when Rosalie asked if a head band, or if any hair accessories would be too much.

I answered yes before Alice could say no.

Since my hair was finished, Alice applied my makeup, Rose grabbed each of my hands and started to paint them a light blue that matched the color of my dress.

I awkwardly turned to the side, so she could paint my toe nails the same color, as Alice finished my makeup.

"Ok, no peeking until you're in your dress and shoes! My dress is on top, so I'm going to run into the bathroom and change, while Rose helps you get into yours in here! Be right back!" She quickly grabbed her dress bag and ran down the hall to the bathroom before I could even blink.

I walked over to the bed, and carefully pulled my dress out. It was like seeing it for the first time. I thought back to when I tried it on. Edward told me I looked breathtaking. I blushed just thinking about it.

I ran my hand over the turquoise, blue halter top, the tiny little beads lining the top. They were smooth and warm under my fingers. My fingers slowly ran down halter top, the blue fading and swirling into a soft lime green. The runched band at the waist would cut me off perfectly, clinging to my skinny waist and shoving up my chest to make it look like I have more cleavage then I really do.

Finally, I looked at my favorite part of the whole dress. The full ball gown skirt; with its soft tulle blue fabric cutting of the green; microscopic sparkles winking in the light. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and would wish upon wishing stars.

I loved this dress, and it took all the effort in me to not show it to Jake. The only details I gave him were the colors so he could get matching vest, cummerbunds and tie. I told him blue or green wouldn't matter, even though I was secretly hoping for green.

"It's really magnificent Bella; you are going to look beautiful. If you don't mind me saying, Edward really is an idiot for letting you get away. Now come on, lets get you into this dress."

I stepped out of my robe, gingerly covering my mid section, feeling my body growing warm.

"We don't want to mess up your hair and makeup, so step into the dress and I'll pull it up."

To be careful to not step on my dress and rip it, I stepped one foot in and then another and let Rose pull it up. When I felt the fabric cover my body, I heard the zipper go up and turned around just in time to see Alice standing in the threshold, snapping a picture.

Alice put me (and probably everyone else that was going to be at Prom) to shame. She was wearing a long black dress with a halter v neck line, a slit that went way beyond mid thigh, with a low back, where the straps crossed in the back.

Six inch black glossy stiletto heels with leather straps caged around her heel and ankle were strapped to her feet, giving her the extra couple inches she needed.

"Don't look at me like that Bella. A little Italian fashion makes any girl look good." She rolled her eyes as if every girl in America owns expensive Italian clothes.

"I thought you said you order your dress from France?" I questioned, raising a freshly plucked eyebrow.

She shrugged her bare shoulders, "I didn't like it, so I bought this one too and wore it instead. It was cheaper anyways."

As if money mattered to her.

"Oh yeah, and how much did all that cost?" I heard Rosalie say behind me.

"Not much, like eight thousands for everything, it was a steal if you ask me." She said nonchalantly.

I nearly choked on my own tongue. I didn't even want to spend four hundred and fifty dollars on my dress!

I felt guilty enough having a dress that cost that much.

But then again it was Alice and she is a force to be reckoned with. Resistance is futile…

I was wearing a pair of old flip flops and the leather braided bracelet, Jake made me, instead of buying new items. Since Charlie was forcing me to take my camera, I was going to take whatever purse, I reached for first.

"And before you say anything, I bought you a new pair of shoes. No worries, they're silver sandals with a tiny heel; it's only one and half inches. When I bought the shoes, you could get a purse half off, so I got you a matching silver clutch. "

I was about to protest, when I felt my left then right foot picked up and a sandal placed on each. A rectangular sized silver clutch was placed in my hand, it was already bulging. I opened it up to find my camera, a pack of tissues, a mirror and a bottle of lip gloss inside. I only sighed, of course they knew that if it was already being used I wouldn't deny it.

I would have to slip a condom in there, after they left. Tonight was the night, and the last thing I wanted to happen, was for Jake to forget one.

"Last but not least, Rose and I bought you this. No asking what it is, just open it!" Alice's high pitched voice ran out.

I was hesitant at first, as she shoved a small black box into my hands. I looked at Rosalie for reassurance, and she smiled.

I slowly opened up the black box and felt a little teary when I saw what was inside. Staring back at me was a necklace that matched theirs. A small silver chain, with a lock engraved with the word, "sister".

I was taken back.

I knew that Alice saw me as a sister, but Rose too? It made me chock up. I knew it was only because she wasn't envious of me anymore. I was no longer a silly human wanting to be a vampire, I was just a silly human again.

With shaky hands, I carefully pulled the necklace out, and clasped it around my neck. It was the perfect medium between Alice's short chain and Rose's long chain.

"No crying, you'll ruin your make up. Now come on group hug girlies! Jake is going to be here soon, and I have to pick up Jasper, Edward and his date. Oh and I need to get some pictures before we leave!"

As careful as I could, I took tiny steps towards them, and wrapped my arms around them, as they did the same to me.

As we all pulled away, Rose grabbed all the bags, and muttered that she was running to the car and she'd meet us downstairs.

I slipped my heels off, grabbed my clutch and the bracelet Jake made me for my eighteenth birthday and told Alice to go first incase I fell down the stairs.

She quickly descended the stairs as I slowly followed, taking my time. At the bottom of the stairs, stood Rose, Alice and Charlie.

We took turns getting pictures together. Pictures of us three girls, taking turns with each other, goofy, posed, serious and then Alice and I taking turns with Charlie.

We were putting our cameras away when I noticed Alice and Rosalie stiffen in my peripheral. Jake must have been close. Or Victoria, what if it was Victoria? I felt my body go stiff then also.

"Well I guess I should go pick up Jasper and my brother. I have a feeling your date should be here soon, Bella." A teeny tiny bit of disgust leaked into her voice. She still couldn't believe I was dating Jake. She still had it in her head, that I was going to end up with Edward.

They said their goodbyes to Charlie then scooted out the door, speeding down the road faster than I could blink. Not even thirty seconds later, Jake pulled in, driving silver 2004 Honda Civic.

He jumped out of the car, slammed the door and jogged up to the porch. The door was left open, so he came in without knocking, and I noticed that his nose was wrinkled in repugnance.

At first glance I noticed how handsome he looked. His newly chopped hair was still forward, he was wearing a black tux with a matching lime green tie and vest, and scuff free black shoes.

In one hand he was nervously jigging his keys and in the other was two clear containers with what I'm assuming were a corsage and a boutonniere.

"Bella…you look amazing." He breathed out, pulling me into a kiss.

His lips were soft against me, and I breathed him, loving the way he still smelled like the woods. I loved that smell, welcomed that smell.

"You don't look too bad yourself." I whispered against his mouth, leaning in for another kiss.

I could have stayed like that all night, if not for Charlie clearing his throat.

Jake and I pulled away from each other, and turned around to see Charlie rising from the couch and walking towards us.

"Well don't you look nice Jake? Your vest and tie match pretty damn well. Watcha' got there?" He pointed to the clear boxes.

"It's um a corsage I got for Bella and a boutonniere for myself... My sister is in town, hence the new car, and she helped me pick it out. I had to take a swatch from my vest to the florist."

Poor Jake looked nervous. He put the top container down on the table and attempted to open the bottom one. He fumbled with the lid of the container, and he nearly dropped it on the floor when it finally popped open. He tenderly pulled it out, careful that his massive hands didn't smash the delicate flowers.

The bracelet itself was a stretchy, silver material covered in tiny beads. In the center of a bunch of tiny white baby's breath were 5 perfectly shaped blue Alstroemeria.

It was perfect. Jake slipped it around my right wrist letting his fingers linger. He started to slowly rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

He pulled his hand away and reached for the next one. It was a matching blue Alstroemeria boutonniere, 2 large blue Alstroemeria, surrounded by tiny green leaves and a small sprig of baby's breath.

Now, for my least favorite part, pinning the damn thing. I was so afraid that I'd prick Jake that I felt myself starting to sweat. With Edward I wouldn't have had to worry about bleeding, but with Jake…a tiny prick could stain his whole shirt and devastate the whole night before we even leave.

I pulled the flowers out of the container, and slowly (to not puncture myself in the process) pulled the pin out of the steams.

As I gathered the courage to get near Jake with a point object, him and Charlie laughed and made jokes about how brave Jake is to trust me with such a deadly tool.

"Ha, ha very funny you two." I humorlessly said, and jabbed the thin needle through his jacket. I was tempted to stick him on purpose, but I didn't want to ruin his shirt.

"So what are you two doing tonight after Prom?" Charlie questioned.

"Mike Newton is having a party…" I shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Bella…Now is not a good time to be out, all those people disappearing in Seattle." Charlie groaned.

"Don't worry we'll be careful. Come on Dad, you can trust me. " I shrugged again.

After the fifty rounds of pictures and Charlie giving us a lecture about anything involve drinking, sex drugs and rock and roll, we walked to the car.

Jake walked around to my side, kissed me again on the cheek and opened the door for me. I slide in careful to not shut my dress in the door, as his colossal body slide into the small space and we were on our way.

The prom was just at the High School again, so after we got through of the long line of cars, Jake found a parking spot in the middle of the senior lot and headed inside.

In front of the gym doors, was an arch of balloons. Not just any balloons, but balloon animals and flowers. When we got to the gym doors, I gave my two tickets to the student council and we made our way inside. The theme this year was 'A Walk through Wonderland', after _Alice and Wonderland_.

Everything was dark blue, purple, red and black, with bright flowers, tall dangling trees and mushrooms.

Famous Alice in Wonderland character cut outs and balloons, would be the center of numerous Facebook pictures tomorrow.

Glimmering, glowing white stars were hanging from the ceiling and paper ones were taped up on the walls. Except for one wall towards the back. Stretching the length of the wall was the famous purple cat, Cheshire. Cards, top hats, fake white rabbits and tea cups were littered around the giant gym.

On the circular tables, were white table clothes, with vases of pink, white and red flowers with heart playing cards stuck in the middle. Each table had eight table settings, with fake white china and tea cups. On top of each place setting sat the party favor, a little blue tube with a ribbon that said _drink me_, a red heart shape cookie, a plastic pocket watch and a picture frame.

Bodies were crushed together on the dance floor, and scattered around at the tables. Next to the door, was a giant poster telling you that out on the football field you can play croquet with a Queen of Hearts impersonator, or chess with the Mad Hatter or even go on a scavenger hunt.

In the middle of taking it all in, I was trying to find my friends. When I couldn't find any of them, I tugged Jake over to an empty table in the corner and listened to the music.

_We the King's_ 'Check Yes Juliet' turned into Akon's 'Beautiful', that turned into _Sarah Mclachlan's _'I Will Remember You'. And all I wanted was for one of my friends to come over and talk to me.

Suddenly I heard Jake let out a low growl, and start to squeeze my arm. I was about to ask what was wrong, when I glanced up to the door to notice Alice bounce in, with Jasper on her arm.

Jasper was wearing a black pin strip tuxedo, with a blood red button down and tie sticking out of the bottom of his coat. The sight made me shiver for some reason.

"Over here, Alice!" I shouted, frantically waving my hand. It's not that I didn't want to be alone with Jake, I just wanted my best friend here with me.

"Hey Bella! Oh, yeah and you too, Jake." Alice smiled my name but frowned at Jake's. Next to her, Jasper just nodded his head and faded into the background.

Alice sat down next to me, dragging Jasper along with her.

"I love your flowers, Bella. The color matches your dress to the tee! You don't look too bad yourself there mutt."

"And what are you suppose to be, a vampire princess? Is your husband's shirt suppose to be that color or did you stop for a snack on the way here?" Jake smirked, and I let a giggle slip out.

Alice frowned at both of us.

What it was funny!

Alice was about to fire off some rude remark, when Angela came up to our table. She looked elegant and beautiful in her long, satin, slim A-line dress. It was a soft purple color, with a wide empire waist with crystals and beads. It had a sweetheart neckline, and a simple silver chain hung above it. She had a white rose pinned in her hair and baby's breath woven throughout it.

Alice and I stood, rushing over to here and pulling her into a hug.

"You look so beautiful Angela!" We shouted over the music at the same time.

Even in the dark lights, I could tell she was blushing, "Thank you. You two look amazing too!"

She glanced behind our shoulders, noticed our dates and grinned out us. In girl language she was telling us, that we did good cleaning our dates up.

"Well I just wanted to come over and see you guys, I'll make sure to bring Ben over later. Oh and we should dance and get pictures!"

We all nodded our heads, hugged again and watched as Angela disappeared into the crowd. Alice and I returned back to the table, to see Jasper and Jake in the middle of an intense staring contest.

As I slide into the chair next to Jake, I put my hand on his knee to calm him down.

Leaning in, I whispered, "Thank you for coming with me. Did I tell you, how attractive you look tonight?" I kissed him below the ear.

He leaned into my kiss, letting his lips met mine. "You are so mind-blowing."

I smiled at his compliment. It was nice to feel special and pretty, even if it was just for one night.

"So what do you want to do, dance? Get pictures? Go on that stupid scavenger hunt?" Jake questioned.

I thought about it for a minute, I didn't want to do any of it.

"Hmmm…how about I get us some food. I'm hungry, so I'm sure you're starving."

"Ok, sounds good. I'm just going to run to the bathroom real quick."

Jake kissed me on the cheek, before turning towards Alice and Jasper.

"Should Bella see if they'll drag a deer in, for you two?" He spewed out, in their direction.

Alice just rolled her eyes and Jasper growled.

Instead of letting them exchange words and cause a scene, I stood and pulled Jake up with me, tugging him towards the buffet tables.

"I'm just going to run to the bathroom real quick, and check in with Sam. Get me a big ol' plate of food please." He smiled at me, kissed me on the cheek and disappeared into the throng of people.

I turned on my heels and continued towards the food, hoping everything was ok with the Pack.

Doubt was edging at my mind though as I picked up three plates and started loading them with food.

What if while we were here having the time of our lives, the pack was out risking their lives? Or the Cullens? Is that why Edward wasn't here?

I mean I wasn't a 100% positive he was coming anyways, I assumed since he bought that tuxedo months ago. Plus he turned down numerous invites, telling heartbroken girls that he was going with an old friend.

I was the only one that knew how old that friend really was.

Tanya, painfully beautiful, model tall, Miss America stunning, Tanya.

I was so irritated and mad that she was coming with Edward, that I didn't realize that I stacking one of Jake's plates full of mashed potatoes until someone asked if I was obsessed with potatoes. Knowing Jacob he would eat them all anyway.

I frowned to them and continued stacking the plates with chicken, shrimp, asparagus, and other numerous things.

I grabbed the plate's waitress style, and tried to make it back to the table without spilling anything. I was almost to our table, when I had to stop and do a double take. I wasn't sure it was our table, until I noticed Edward's trade mark hair.

Cautious of my steps, I took my time with the last couple of them. I didn't want to spill, or make it back to my table, to watch Edward and Tanya act like a normal couple. Maybe they were a normal couple now.

Geez could I not get a break?! She looked even breath taking from the back. It's bad enough that she's in love with Edward and immortal, did she have to be drop dead gorgeous too? !

From the back I could see her blonde hair was wavy and hanging over one of her shoulders, exposing her almost bare back. Her creamy white skin was staring back at me, underneath a thin crisscross of blue and silver fabric. The back of the chair stopped me from seeing how low it really went.

As I walked closer, I saw her hands moving, as if she was deep into conversation with the Cullens. Even her petite hands were striking.

I was about to turn around and find a new table, when Edward turned around and waved me over. Figuring I still had time to run (well trip) away, I stopped short when Alice started shouting my name.

Crap, I had to go over now. I took a deep breath, let it out and walked over.

"Hey." I nonchalantly said to no one and everyone at the same time.

Alice stood at vampire speed and ran over to me, whipping the plates out of my hand, grabbing my free hand. She laid them down next to a bouquet of long stemmed white iris. Of course Edward would buy a bouquet and not a corsage; it was so timeless and romantic. I felt my whole body grow hot, and wanted to hide mine behind my body.

"Bella come meet Edward's date!" She chirped out, as if hanging out with exes and meeting their dates, was normal. Not that anything going on in my life was normal.

Edward stood, and helped her up. She turned and I was surprised that she wasn't scowling. I knew she hated me for dating Edward. Instead she was beaming the biggest smile. Her flawless white teeth showing behind her lips; her golden eyes sparkling. My eyes traveled down her slender body.

She was wearing a silky royal blue long dress, with a V neck that showed perky cleavage, the waist was see through fabric, but separated with silver beading. She was only wearing red lip stick, and a matching silver necklace and bracelet set.

She was old time glamorous, but not in a tacky way and it made me hate her more.

I tried to plaster a smile on my face, but I was afraid it would look fake.

"Hi, I'm Bella, obviously. I mean I think the whole gym heard Alice screaming my name." I said.

"Hello Bella, it's so nice to meet you, the Cullens have told me so much." She winked and continued on.

"My name is Kate. I've never been to a prom, so I begged Edward to bring me, until he finally gave in."

She turned to him and smiled.

Realization dawned on me. Kate was Tanya's sister. As far as I knew, she had no feelings for Edward. So this was a friend's night out. She said she's never been to a prom, so Edward felt pity for her?

"Oh yes, Kate, Edward's mentioned you before too." I stuck my hand out to shake hers. It was cold like the Cullens.

Kate frowned and pulled her hand away.

"What's wrong?" I questioned.

"I'm sorry; I wasn't trying to shock you but…"

I looked at her puzzled.

"Oh, please forgive me. My special ability is to create an electric current over my skin. I'm still working on how to control it and understand it better. When our hands touched, I was afraid that I shocked you, but I didn't. Not that I was trying to! I'm just…confused and excited."

Next to me Alice gasped. "You mean she can block out your ability too? Wow, who would of thought."

I thought I heard her mutter about if only they knew what I could do, but Edward cleared his throat and nudged Kate's shoulder.

"And where's your date, Bella? Edward said you brought a..." She leaned in again.

"..Wolf." She frowned again.

"I've personally never met one, but I hear they smell horrid." She wrinkled her nose.

Alice, Jasper and Edward all let out a laugh and rolled their eyes, muttering things under their breath.

I felt my cheek turn pink. "He had to check in with the Pack leader, make sure everything was alright. He should be back any minute now."

As if Jake could sense my words, I saw him approaching the table. I noticed Lauren and Jess were following him.

The Cullens started to shift uncomfortable, while Kate fell into her chair, shaking. As Jake walked closer I saw his nostrils were flared, teeth slightly bared a growl stuck in his throat.

As he came up to my side, grabbing my hand, the growl escaped, low and husky like a warning. Kate started to hiss. This was causing tension, so thick you could cut it with a knife.

I smacked Jake with my free hand against the chest, and gave Edward a 'Help me here' look.

Edward grabbed Kate's hand and started to rub the back of it with his thumb.

"Lauren and Kate are coming over, can we please act normal?" He was talking to the whole table.

"Who?" Kate and Jake questioned at the same time.

I muttered a 'oh no' under my breath, and dragged Jake down to a seat, along with myself. I mentally told Edward to do the same, even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

Edward and Kate sat, at the same time that Lauren and Jessica made their way to the table.

Lauren was wearing a very scandalous hot pink dress that showed a lot of skin in the front, and even more in the back (which she twirled around and gladly showed off for the boys.) Her short blonde hair was pin straight, and she had a pink rose tucked behind her ear.

Jess's dress was even worse. It was a concoction of cheetah fabric layered over a tie dyed 60s flower print. It had wide strips of jeweled fabric in random spots. Her curly brown hair was more poofy than usual, and a tacky adorned tiara was fighting its way out.

Both of them had out pounds of make- up and hair spray. They were each weighed down way too much gaudy jewelry and elbow high gloves. Over all they just looked trashy, or like over expensive hookers.

They were both giddy, and I followed their eyes from Jake, to Jasper to Edward. They were eyeing the boys like they were beef and they haven't eaten in weeks.

"Wow Edward lookin' good." Jess said, while licking her lips.

"Well thank you Jess. You are looking…nice. This is my date, Kate." He replied.

Both of their smiles, pulled down at the corners. Edward just ruined their nights with those five little words.

"And of course you know Alice and Jasper. Bella and her date, Jacob Black." He pointed across the table, trying to get the attention off of himself.

"Wow Jake you really clean up. Why don't you dump Bella here and come over to our table?" Lauren spat my name out like it was dirt.

Jake leaned in and placed a kiss on my check, "Nah it's ok, I think I'll stay here."

"Is this your date Edward? Alice, I thought you said she was drop dead gorgeous?

Ok, Jess pushed it a little too far this time. I was just about to stand up and say something when Alice broke in.

"Do you guys smell that?"

We all turned to her, as she sniffed the air around us. I didn't smell anything, but I didn't have vampire or wolf senses. What if it was Victoria, was she right now watching me? I wanted to turn around in my chair, but Alice spoke first.

She sniffed the air again, "Smells like…cheap perfume and sweat. Its gross, burns my nose a little."

Every at the table stifled a laugh, expect Lauren and Jess. Their cheeks turned red and then brushed their arms, and picked at their hair.

"Well we need to get back to our dates. Hope you see you boys at Mike's party tonight."

They sashayed away, wiggling their butts and bumping into people without caring.

"Who was that?" I heard Kate say.

'Nobodies' I muttered under my breath.

After that we sat in silence, as Jake and I ate our cold food. Every now and then the Cullens would leave with their date to dance, or walk outside for some 'fresh air'.

Jake and I walked around the prom, attempted to dance once to a slow song, but I kept stepping on his feet so we just sat down and enjoyed each other's company. Then I reminded that he called the pack to see what was up.

"What did Sam, have to say earlier?" I questioned.

"He thinks the redhead blood sucker is taunting us. He doesn't know what to do, she comes right up to the line and dodges away before we can get her. Plus now Sam said, he's getting different tracks. Someone must be helping her. I wish one of them had the balls to fight us. Paul would love to go head to head with them. I'd look to snap the red head's neck." He muttered the last part.

I was about to warn him about how dangerous fighting Victoria would be (add on all of her suppose little helpers) but my words were cut off by the Cullens, walking over to our table in the middle of a fit of laughter.

"And why did that Lauren girl and her little minions feel the need to do every step to that 'Single Ladies'? It was seriously preposterous! And can someone please tell me what a Lady Gaga is anyways?" Kate said in between laughs.

They walked up to our table, pulled out their chairs and sat down. They still looked amazing, not a hair out of place, no sweaty forehead or armpits. I envied them sometimes.

Edward's elbow bumped into mine, as he was leaning forward in his convulsion of laughter. He didn't even notice…or care.

"I remember when I was 17, it was all about jazz music! The Foxtrot, Charleston, Waltz! We were barely allowed to touch each other on the dance floor. Women were proper ladies, and men were gentlemen. Now kids are practically having sex out there. " Edward stopped laughing and closed his eyes.

I could of sworn I heard him mutter about how that was a better time. Probably because he was human, life was simpler for him back then. He opened his eyes and started the laughing again.

Alice piped in next, "Well I don't remember any of that. But Jazzy remember when we were still living in Philadelphia and we went out dancing?"

She paused and turned to us, "You should see him do the Jive! He was so good! We could have been on American Band Stand, but we left Philadelphia years before it aired. Oh and you can't forget about, the twist, and disco! Come on Jazzy, do the moonwalk, oh, oh come on please do the robot!"

Jasper groaned, "No one wants to hear about the disco or the moonwalk. Nothing compares to the Waltz! I remember during the Civil War, my Army men and I would go to dances. The Waltz and Cakewalk were my favorites. I used to love listening to Jazz music and old Army songs." Jasper grew quiet after that, as if he too was remembering.

Everyone grew quiet around the table. Jake and I were slightly taken back and feeling left out. I think the Cullens and Kate forgot we were even there. Jake coughing and the booming music were the only sounds.

I was about to ask someone to tell us more about ancient dance moves, when Jake perked up in his seat.

"Wait, did you just say you were in the Army?" He turned to Jasper, speaking to him for the first time ever.

Jasper looked startled, but still answered.

"Yes, for two years, I was young, but managed to quickly work my way up to being a Major for the Confederates."

Jasper stopped talking, a pained look passing through his eyes. Alice grabbed his hand and squeezed it, giving him reassurance. I didn't know what for, but I was assuming we were about to find out.

Jasper cleared his throat and continued. "I was only in the Army for two years, before I was turned. The vampire that turned me, Maria, she was watching me, and she knew how I could command large groups. I took my skills from war and trained other vampires that we turned. I taught the newborns how to fight for Maria. That is until I left-"

Jacob scuffed a low, husky voice. He sounded like he was disgusted.

I heard Edward growl, I'm assuming he heard whatever Jake was thinking.

I looked between them, puzzled.

All of a sudden Alice gasped, her eyes growing big and glazing over. After a few seconds, (even though it felt like minutes) Alice eyes fluttered.

"Jake, why didn't you tell us sooner about Sam's phone call?"

"Huh?" Jake asked at the same time Edward said, "What did you see Alice?"

She ignored Edward and turned to Jake.

"I just saw Jasper training us to fight Victoria, and then it goes black. He's going to train the Pack too."

"What?!" Jake, Edward, Jasper and I said at the same time.

"I don't care how skilled you are blood sucker; it will be a cold day in Hell before we work with you." Jake spit out.

I looked over at Edward, he was quiet, his fist was under his chin and his eyes were closed.

"That might just work." He finally said.

"What are you thinking about Cullen?" Jake asked.

He opened his eyes. Two pools of honey, gold, glancing over at Jasper.

"Tell us everything that you remember from training those newborns Jasper."

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**READ ME--- A/N: So *sad face* sorry I've been hiding guys. Much love goes out to my beta, (who is amazing check her out) and to you guys. Don't forget to check out the pictures on photobucket. Anddd for everyone who reviews on this chapter (the good, the bad, the ugly) will get a sneak peek of the check chapter.**

**-BB**


	15. Stay Beautiful Part II

Sorry for the long wait. Working two jobs is kickin my butt. Review me please.

-BB

* * *

**B.P.O.V**

How did we end up in this situation? With me sitting here, Jake outside convincing Sam to meet with the Cullen's to fight Victoria and her little underlings.

While the D.J. was announcing who King and Queen were, (which no one at this table was paying attention to) Jasper told us how he trained new born vampires, to use their vampire strength, plus their extra talents to defeat other vampires.

Jasper admitted with guilt, that back then they turned innocent victims into vampires, so they could have an army to fight over territory.

Now he agreed to train the Cullens and the Pack, as a way of redeeming himself.

I wanted to tell all of them how this was a really dreadful idea. How there had to be another way. Ways were no one was put in a dangerous situation. But no one would listen to me; they were too busy coming up with more and more ideas.

Before I could even interject my thoughts on this horrible idea, Jake was walking away to phone Sam, and the Cullens were all huddled together, form strategies and tactics.

I didn't want to be involved, so I put my elbows on the table, my chin in my hands and let out a long sigh. This is not how I pictured my prom night turning out. I was expecting more of a growling match between my boyfriend and my ex. Not an immortal town meeting.

"Would you like dance, Bella?" I heard a jumpy voice say behind me. It was Eric. He looked small and gangly in his white tux. He voice was high pitch and nervous.

I was torn between being friendly and just getting the awkward, 'tripping over feet', dancing over with or politely letting him down.

I started to bite my lip and look around for Jake. I decided on the ladder and was about to announce about how my date would be right back, when Edward saved me.

"I'm sorry Eric, but Bella has already promised me the next slow song. Which I think is up next, as soon as the DJ gets back from getting a drink."

Edward's voice, make me shiver. He was so polite about the whole thing, it was kind of cute.

Edward stood from his chair and held his hand out to me. I let my fingers curl around his cold hand. I pushed off of my chair and let him lead me to the dance floor.

"I'm not really sure what to do. Two left feet, you remember that?" I blushed.

Edward leaned in closer to my ear.

"Just put your head on my shoulder, your arms around my waist."

Part of my wanted to slap him and walk away, but part of me wanted to do precisely that.

"Watch yourself, Cullen." I chuckled instead, poking him in the chest.

"Trust me Bella. Head on shoulder, hands on chest or waist, hell I'll let them lay limply by your side I don't care. Move your feet in a box motion, just follow me."

So for the first time in months, I did just that., trusted him. The one person who broke my heart. I put my head on his chest, and wrapped my arm around his waist. I pulled him towards me, so I could smell the familiar Edward scent that I've missed. I could never quite guess what it was but all I knew was that I was addicted to it.

It was nice to be encased in his arms, just the two of us, slowly swaying to some tacky love song.

"Have you had any more thoughts about, where you are going to school next year?" Edward

asked, breaking the silence.

"It's between University of Washington and Penn State, I'm not sure yet. You?"

Please say, you'll go where I go.

Wait, why do I care where he goes?

"I'll go, where my family goes, you know that." He smiled and squeezed my body against his.

Silence fell between us.

"So Jake called you 'amazing' when he saw you." Edward scuffed.

I was slightly taken back, how would he know? But of course he probably got that from reading Jake's mind.

"Yeah so, what's it to you?" I pulled away and looked up into his eyes.

"Well amazing doesn't beginning to cover it. You look beautiful, exquisite, beyond stunning. He's just too young to understand what a woman truly looks like."

I put my head back down on his chest and thought about it. I was angry at Edward, at Jake, even at myself!

I was mad at Edward because he left me, left me broken and scared and alone. Then he thinks he can waltz right back into my sad, pathetic life like nothing happened. Like nothing has ever changed, like it was normal for me to be here waiting for him.

I was mad at Jake because he was immature, and did only see me as amazing. I was eighteen, about to go off to college, and I didn't want to be trapped here, waiting for my boyfriend to finally graduate.

And mostly I was mad at myself because I was standing here, dancing with the one person who broke me in so many ways, with those hateful words he said to me. I was the girl that was going to stay here and waiting for her boyfriend. I was the girl that I didn't want to be.

I wanted to pull away, to walk away from Edward and into the crowd to find Jake, but I couldn't feel my feet. As if Edward could sense my thoughts, he pulled me in closer.

The songs changed from slow to fast, and back to slow, but Edward and I stayed in this close dancing motion, our own little box.

"Do you know what the Alstroemeria flower means?" Edward said finally breaking the silence between us.

I nodded my head no, against his body.

"Friendship and devotion. The flower grows upside down the petals twisting as they grow, it symbolizing the twisting roads of friendship."

I lifted my head and looked up at him, "How do you know that?"

"When I was human, my mother taught me the meaning of flowers. It was very common back then."

I put my head back down, "I highly doubt, Jake knows what they mean. He probably just thought they looked cool."

Edward grunted, "I wish he did know and still picked them."

I shook that statement off, with a roll of the eyes, "What does the iris mean then?"

He chuckled softly.

"Iris's mean 'your friendship means so much to me'. Which is why I picked them for Kate. She's been a very loyal and good friend to me and my family."

The song changed to Taylor Swift's 'Stay Beautiful.' It wasn't the typical upbeat version, but a slow, acoustic number.

I closed my eyes and just listened. I listened to the low murmurs surrounding the gym, the way Taylor sang the words unhurried and velvety.

Edward dropped his head, putting his lips next to my ear again.

_If you and I are a story._

_That never gets told._

_If what you are is a daydream._

_I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know._

_You're beautiful every little piece love._

_And don't you know you're really gonna be someone ask anyone._

_And when you find everything you looked for._

_I hope your life leads you back to my front door._

_Oh but if it don't will you stay._

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful._

He kissed my temple and put his chin back on top of my head. As quietly as I could I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes.

We stayed in this position until the song was over. I pulled out of his grasp and stood there staring at him. His arms acted like they were still holding me, his eyes were open a shocked look on his face, his mouth was faintly open.

"I have to; I have to go find Jake. He's probably back at the table, waiting for me. He's probably…waiting for me." I sounded lame, but it didn't matter. I needed to get out of there before I did something stupid.

He didn't try to stop me, he just followed me back to the table. Instead of taking the chair between Kate and myself, he sat at the seat next to Alice, the chair furthest away from me.

At first no one said anything, and then Jasper and Edward started making bets about who was going to throw up first at Mike's party. Jasper suggested that they should call Emmett and Rose on the way to the party.

'More money for the winner.' He shrugged.

I tried to tune them out, but it was hard because Alice and Kate kept trying to pull me into their conversations. I felt bad, I didn't want them to think I was ignoring them, but I was starting to worry about Jake.

He left before I started dancing with Edward and that was at least six songs ago. Add on the fifteen minutes we've been sitting here and it wasn't looking good.

The prom was winding, only one song to go and it was a slow one. I wanted to dance the last one with Jake. Where was he?!

I was about to suggest that I lead a search party for Jake, when I saw Lauren and one of her nameless followers walking towards us a huge evil grin plastered on her face.

"You must be a really bad fuck, Bella?" Her pestering little voice said.

"Excuse me?" I hope I sounded angry or offended.

"Well it seems you couldn't hold onto Edward, and I just saw your new boyfriend making out with some junior."

I felt my face grow hot, as everyone at the table turned towards me. Why would Jake be making out with someone else? I'm his girlfriend! I'm practically his imprint, right? So why would he be with someone else!?

"What?" I stuttered out.

"Well we were just walking out of the bathroom, when I saw him pinning some girl in the corner. She was smiling and he probably was too, so I didn't scream rape. Just thought you'd want to know. Come on girls, its head over to Newton's and get our party on."

Lauren and her little gang turned to walk away. Lauren stopped abruptly and turned back towards the table.

"You know what Bella, ever since the first day you've showed your face here, I've been hoping for this day. I've been waiting for you to fall right on your ass. I laughed at you when Edward left, but this, this is priceless." She laughed again and disappeared into the crowd.

I couldn't believe her, I mean this was Lauren and she'd do anything to ruin my prom night. Wouldn't she? - I mean no one's really that cruel are they?

I turned back to the table, were everyone was staring at me. Alice reached her hand across the table, but I shuffled to my feet before she could.

"I really need to find Jake. I'll see you guys at Mike's, ok?"

I ran off before they could even reply.

The last slow song was ending, and the Principle was reminding us to drive safe, and that we all signed pledges to not drunk or have sex.

As people were exiting, it made it harder to push through and find Jake. He wasn't out in front of the school, or out on the dance floor. I even looked on the football field to see if he was too embarrassed to admit he wanted to do the scavenger hunt.

Nothing.

I was just about to give up, when I noticed him sitting at a table on the other side of the gym. I started at a swift pace towards him, but stopped in my tracks. He had his arm draped around a chair, with a blond hair girl sitting in it. She was a junior; I think her name was Michelle. She sat a couple rows in front of me in Chemistry class last year.

So it was true, he really was with some other girl.

Tears started to prick at my eyes. My heart was breaking. My heart that wasn't even whole in the first place and it was breaking all over again. What should I do? Walk over and confront him, or wait for the gym to clear out and say something?

I went with the first idea. I straightened my back and walked over to their table. Neither moved, nor looked into my direction. I cleared my throat, still nothing.

I cleared my throat again, and got no response. I finally tapped Jake on the shoulder. He jumped a foot into the air, startled.

"Bella?!" He shouted, shooting up to his feet.

"This isn't what it looks like."

What a cliché thing for a guy to say, when he's caught red handed with another girl.

"What do you mean; this isn't what it looks like? You leave me to make a quick phone call, and then you never return. And then Lauren, of all people, had to tell me you're with another girl." I was fuming.

Jake grabbed my wrist, and pulled his head down lower.

"Can we please talk about this later? I can explain I promise. I just… I just need a second with Michelle. Meet me by the car, please."

His eyes were pleading. I harshly tugged my wrist away.

"I'll meet you outside in five minutes." I garbled, grabbed the keys and walked away.

The cold air felt good on my body as I walked to the car. I looked around for the Cullens, but slipped into the car, when I couldn't find them.

The Cullens were already gone, probably back at their house changing and heading over to Mike's.

I was suppose to change here at the school before heading over, but I wanted to get out of their as soon as I could. Since Jake obviously didn't care anymore, I'd probably just change in the car. But right now I had to get these shoes off. I reached into the back and pulled out my black flip flops.

After the promised five minutes, Jake slide into the car, turned on the AC and backed out of the parking lot.

"Bella we need to talk."

Thank you for stating the obvious!

"Ok, then talk?" My words were bitter.

"Remember when I said that I wouldn't imprint because I loved you so much. Well, I went outside to call Sam, and I told him my plan and, and it took a lot of explain to do. A LOT. He's still unsure of what we should do. I mean he wants to get rid of Victoria, but he doesn't trust the Cullens. I mean he really hates them and just don't trust them." He was rambling on.

"Just get on with it Jake!" I shouted, filling the same area with my anger.

I reached into the back of the car and grabbed my bag with clothes in them. I yanked out a pair of jeans, a really cute tight fitting black plaid shirt (Alice made me buy it, when we went shopping a couple of week's ago.) and a black vest that ended at my navel.

"So Sam and I got in a pretty heated debate. I mean this vampire is still trying to hurt you. Sam and I were just having a huge yelling battle, until I got him to agree to at least meet with the Doctor and that Jasper guy. I was so frustrated, that I hung up the phone and was just standing there, squeezing in the phone. That's when Michelle came over and asked if I was ok."

He paused and looked over at me. I was trying to undo the zipper on the back of my dress. It wasn't budging, and then I remembered that I was wearing that stupid thong. I tried digging under all the fabric to find my legs, to slip into my jeans. This too wasn't working.

"Do you need help or something?" He asked.

I turned my face to him, pinning him with the most evil, pissed off face that I could.

"Ok. Well anyways, I don't know. When we looked at each other, it was just like everything else melted away. I don't want you to be mad at me Bella, I honestly loved you and thought that, that love would be enough to not imprint. I can't stay away from her now, never. I told her, that I have to talk to her, at Mike's house. So I'm going to go find her when we get there, then I guess I'll drive you home or where ever you want to go. "

I noticed that he said 'loved', it made me stop in my tracks. So this is really over?

"Well that's good to know." I sounded really bitter.

We were almost to Mike's house and I was still sitting in my prom dress.

"Can you just pull over so I can get out and change?" I shouted, slamming my open palms against the dashboard.

Jake sighed and pulled over, turning the engine off.

I leaned forward and finally managed to get the zipper down.

"Bells, I don't want you to be mad at me, you are my best friend. Please Bells, please." Jake was pleading.

I wasn't having any of this right now. My heart was being smashed apart, again.

"Can you just get out so I can change? Just, get out and turn around or something."

Jake opened the door, pulled his massive body out and leaned his back against the door.

Since I was unable to move this poof ball around in the car, I too opened the door and stepped out, grabbing my clothes.

Jake started to turn around.

"Don't look! I'm changing you ass!" I shrieked out.

I quickly shimmed out of my dress, and slide on my clothes, "Ok." I muttered.

We both slide back into the car, and continued down the road to Mike's house in silence. And to think, I thought tonight was going to finally be the night I lost my virginity. What a foolish, foolish girl I am.

**VPOV**

I remembered the last time I was in this school. Back when my lover was still alive (well as alive as any vampire is) and we were hunting her. Now I was reduced to avenging James, by hiding out in the damp woods and just waiting to attack her. To torture her and even kill her.

I tried to picture the little brat dancing and having the time of her life, in that big gym. She was unaware that this was going to be her last night.

I was going to snatch Bella during her prom, but there were countless people hanging around outside the school. Plus I could smell the Cullens, they are here, or were here. I could also smell that dim-witted mutt that she's been hanging around with.

Kids were starting to exit the building, in small groups. About fifty yards away, I heard someone mention Bella's name.

"I hope Bella still comes to Mike's party." A girl in a purple dress said. She sounded upset.

"Yeah me too, she's going to need a shoulder to cry on, now that she's done with Jake." The boy was cocky.

"Shut up Mike, you know if Cullen shows up, she'll be running right back into his arms."

Some Bella was going to some party at this Mike guy's house. But the Cullens might show up. There was no way that I'd be able to go in there and get her. They knew my scent and my face.

No, I had to get one of my newborns to do it.

I kept my eyes focused on this group of humans as they got into numerous cars and started backing out of the parking lot.

As they started driving down the road, I ran beside them in the woods. They didn't drive far before; they stopped at an empty house. So this was where the party was going to happen.

I pulled my pre paid phone out of my jean pocket and scanned through the couple of contacts I had. They were all newborns that I've been creating for the last couple of months.

My finger stopped on Riley. He was the first one I tricked into being turned, and my most devoted.

I pushed send and waiting for him to pick up. It only rang once, before his eager voice answered.

"Yes sexy, have a plan yet? I think I finally lost those smelly dogs."

I scuffed, of course I had a plan, don't I always?

"Yes, don't worry you're little head, I have a plan. But we have to hurry; I don't know if she has those little mutts are still following us."

Imprudent, foul-smelling, four legged freaks.

"What about the other vampire coven you told us about, the Cullens? Aren't you worried about them?"

I quietly laughed.

"I hope Edward does come for us, and then he can watch us torture his precious, little horror of a girlfriend."

I laughed again. I couldn't wait to get my hands on Bella!

"So what's the plan then, lovely?" Riley drew me out of my thoughts.

I thought about the plan, making sure it all made sense and told Riley.

I couldn't wait to finally getting my revenge on Edward.

**BPOV**

As soon as we got to Mike's, Jake and I headed our separate ways. He probably went off to find Michelle and I went off to find the closest bottle of Jose Cuervo.

I walked through the kitchen and out the back door to the deck.

Post prom people were everywhere. Some kids were even jumping into the pool with their prom attire on.

Coolers were lining the yard and I walked over to one and opened it. It had bottles of Hoegaarden in its icy, cold belly. I dug my hand into the ice, feeling the sting, and yanked one out.

I asked one of other party goers, to open it. I chugged it and went back for another one.

This was going to be a long night, I could just tell.

I wondered around the party, chatting with classmates, and sipping on my beers I made a complete 360 and was feeling a little tipsy.

Finally Alice and Jasper showed up, with no Edward in site.

I ran over to them, and hugged Alice tight against my body.

"I'm soooo happy you are here!" I shouted a little too loud for the outside world.

Alice just giggled at me, and took the beer out of my hand while saying, "I think you've had enough, young lady."

"Never!" I shouted, twirling both of us around.

I let go of her, told her I'd meet up with her later and ran into the kitchen to fix myself a drink.

I mean I deserve to have this one night to be care free. I've had my heart broken yet again, by a boy that I've trusted the most.

And now my senior year was over, now I can go to college anywhere I want to, because I didn't have a boyfriend holding me back!

While standing in the kitchen talking with a group of girls from my Chem. II class, when two familiar faces walked in. Ok maybe not too familiar because I've only seen them once before, but there standing before me was Jared and Scott. Scott was Tyler's brother (and I'm sure the source of all the alcohol) and Jared was his friend, the one I fell into while dancing.

"What's up boys?" I lifted my eye brows.

"Hey! Any dancing shows tonight?" They replied, laughing.

I laughed with them, "No my dancing days are over. What are you guys doing, hanging out with a bunch of high school kids?"

"Tyler told us, some hot chicks would be here, once again he was correct. Hey we were just getting ready to do some 'strike outs' wanna join us?"

I had no clue what a 'strike out' was, but I wasn't about to admit to that. I didn't want to be the lame, wall flower girl, who's depressed because her boyfriend just dumped her.

So I nodded my head yes and followed them around to the other side of the counter. They stretched across the counter, grabbing a bud light, a bottle of Jäger, and three plastic Dixie cups.

"Ok so what do I do?" I was assuming it was a drinking game.

Jared shrugged off an old orange back pack and unzipped it. He submerged his hand into the ugly orange fabric, and pulled out a bong, that was a swirly multi color. I was starting to panic; I've never smoked pot out of a bong. I've only smoked a couple times, it was between when Edward left and before I started dating Jake. And every time I went to a party, and peer pressure reared its ugly head.

"What's that for?" I inquired.

They both laughed, I wasn't sure if it was at me or with me, but I was assuming at.

"Ok, pay attention because I'm only telling the rules once. You take a hit of the bong, do a shot, chug the beer, then exhale. Ok, ready?"

One, two, three, and I did it. Ok I attempted to do it, but I didn't really do it. I coughed a lot, choked down the alcohol and wobbled on my feet.

They offered to let me try it again, but I declined. Never again, would I do that. I decided to stick to just the drinks.

After my third drink, Mike came tripping into the kitchen, looking for one more player for 'One Big Chicken'.

"That's me, that's me!" I jumped up and down, hitting my hip against the counter.

I followed Mike into his living room, where a bunch of kids were huddling around the table.

_Chicken_

_Ducks_

_Bears_

_Running Hares_

_Females Sitting, Sipping scotch, and smoking cigarettes_

_Slit by Sam the Sheet Slitter_

_Siamese Sailors sailing the seven seas_

_egotists echoing egotistical ecstasies_

_Knocked up Nuns navigating the Nigerian desert towards the nunnery_

_pluckers plucking figs, I'm not a fig plucker or a fig pluckers son but I'll pluck figs until the fig pluckin's done!_

We each took turns saying the phrases, and who ever messed up had to chug. Thank God I was good at remembering facts, because I managed to stay in the game.

"Who's ready for another round!?" Mike slurred out.

I was about to answer, when I felt someone lifting me up by my underarm and turned me around.

I came face to face with Edward's chest. He started to lightly shake me.

"What are you doing?!" He roared, making the whole room go quiet, except for the music booming from the iHome in the kitchen.

I was about to tell him to get his hands off of me, when Alice stepped in, "Edward, let's take this upstairs shall we?"

Edward let his left hand slip away, but dragged his right hand down to firmly grab my wrist. He practically dragged me upstairs, making me trip and stumble over my own feet.

We picked a random room, as Edward lead into a dark room. He flipped on the light, and slammed the door shut behind me, before Alice and Jasper could even come in. He slammed the door so hard, the whole room rattled.

"Hey, Alice wanted in too!" I shouted to his back. I tried tugging my arm back, but his tight cold grip wouldn't let go.

"I don't care about Alice! What is wrong with you? You're drunk and acting stupid!"

I've never heard Edward sound so… much like a vampire. He sounded scary, and dark and evil.

"Excuse me Edward, but when you left me nine months ago, you forfeited all rights to care about me!" Now I too was shouting.

"Just because I left doesn't mean that I stopped loving you, or stopped caring. I'm back now, and I don't love you less, I love you more now! I came back for you, I came back.."

Wow another first, Edward rambling.

"How can you even say that?! You don't love me, you just want something to protect. I'm just a play thing to you… just a toy, a pet!"

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!

"Are you kidding me? Me, treating you like a toy?! And what were those guys down there? You don't think they would treat you just like a toy? Jesus Bella, you looked like a tramp down there!"

Even though I knew he wouldn't feel it, I took my free left hand, formed a fist and punched Edward, square in the face.

"I hate you Edward, I wish that I never moved to Forks, I wish that I never had to sit next to you in Biology, and I wish I never loved you!"

He stumbled back a couple steps, but it wasn't from any physical pain. His face was blank and his legs collapsed, his butt falling on the bed.

I took this moment to escape through the door, make myself stagger down the steps and back to my save haven in the kitchen.

**EPOV**

I knew Bella didn't mean what she said, but it hurt all the same.

I sat on the bed, calculating what I should do next.

After about fifteen minutes, Alice and Jasper decided it was time to interrupt my thinking.

"You can't just let her go Edward, you love her. She loves you. You belong together I've already seen it."

Alice closed her eyes and showed me the imagines again for the millionth time.

Bella and I, married, both of us vampires, happy vampires.

A happy, loving feeling over took my body. I had the sudden urge to find Bella, take her in my arms and never let go. Thank you, Jasper for the sudden burst of emotions.

They were right, I had to get Bella back, she was my one true love.

I pushed to my feet, swung open the door and bounced down the steps. The closest room was the kitchen, so I searched in there. No luck.

I swiftly walked into the living, bathroom, dining room, still no luck.

Maybe she walked outside to get some fresh air. I glanced around the back yard, taking in the pool, the trampoline, the numerous amounts of bodies, dancing and grinding to the music.

Still no sign of Bella anywhere.

I noticed Angela and Ben sitting next to the pool, their feet dangling in. I hoped that she knew where Bella was, I was starting to worry.

"Hey Angela, have you seen Bella lately?" I asked.

They both turned and looked up at me. They both looked worried.

Oh no, did something happen to Bella, I just saw her.

"I saw her about ten minutes ago; I was trying to get her a ride home. She was really drunk and upset and looked like she was crying. I suggested looking for Jake to take her home, but she mumbled something about him, printing some Michael person. I'm not really sure, she wasn't very coherent. Jess and Kate said that they'd find her a ride. They promised me, that it would be someone safe, no drunk driving. Why, is there something wrong Edward?" She sounded worry.

"No, we just got in a little fight, I just… I just want everything to be ok with us." I was stuttering again like an idiot.

Angela pulled her feet out of the water, pushed off of the ground and stood up. She was barely eye to eye with the middle of my chest. She squared her shoulders and looked right up at me.

A normal person would back down. Their six sense would warn them that I was dangerous, and to run, far, far away.

"She loves you Edward. I didn't say anything when she started dating Jake because I wanted her to be happy, but I always hoping you'd come back."

She grabbed my arm and squeezed. Wow this girl was brave, and I was relieved to have someone in my corner, which had not just my back but Bella's too.

I managed to say 'thank you', before I was darting around the side of the house to the front yard and drive way.

I noticed that Kate girl that appeared at our lunch table when I disappeared, sitting with Jess, Eric Yorkie and a couple seniors. They were all sitting on the porch steps, but Kate was the only one not immersed in conversation.

"Hey you, Kate right?" I jogged over to her, waving my arms frantically in front of me.

"Yeah, Kate that's me." She stuttered, her cheeks growing a light pink.

"Have you seen Bella Swan, I've been looking for her everywhere, I'm her ride home." I smiled putting the charm on her.

Wow, he really is hot, what does he see in that Swan girl, she isn't even that pretty.

"Um yeah actually she left already. So Riley guy came and got her, he said it was her cousin, he kept saying that her Aunt Vicki was waiting for her."

A picture of a tall, muscular teenager with sandy blond hair popped into her head. The only thing that set him apart was his eyes, his blood red eyes.

I shot up off the steps, panic lacing through my veins.

Wait, you can be my ride home! She shouted in her head.

I ran back into the house frantically looking for Alice and Jasper, screaming their names as I ran.

**BPOV**

The pounding in my head, reminded me that I needed to take it more slow next time. I tried lifting my arm to stop the pounding, but I couldn't lift them.

I groaned. No movement of the arm was ever a good thing. Charlie was going to kill me for getting drunk.

I opened my eyes, but it was too dark to see anything. Crap were did I pass out, I hope that I was at least out of Mike's house.

Come on Bella, one, two, three time to get up!

I tried to get up; but I was stuck to my chair.

What the…

I tried wiggling again, but I wouldn't budge. Oh my God, what was going on?

"Well, it's good to see you are finally awake. I accidentally dropped you when I was carrying you out of the car. You were already passed out, but that little fall didn't help much."

Oh no, I knew that voice. I squinted in the dark, trying to make out her white face, or fire hair.

"I think she's speechless, Vicki." Someone chuckled.

That voice was new.

"Well she won't be much longer; I hope she screams while we torture her." Victoria laughed too.

I on the other hand I didn't laugh, I screamed.


End file.
